Follow @joannet1985 on Twitter
Edging ever so closely to that BIG 30 later this year …. 29 year old mummy to Millie & Leo, wife of Dan, CEO of Millie’s Trust , love to cook ( I’m actually quite good at it … well, my husband always eats whatever I put in front of him, does that count ? ) Currently attempting to get fit and STAY FIT as I am approaching 30 and after having my gorgeous 2 babies … love to run, clears my head and helps me get through a rough day … love to read, when I get the time… I’m one of those annoying people that have more than one book on the go at once … Mental Health advocate/sufferer of PTSD, Anxiety & Depression following the tragic and unexpected loss of my beautiful baby girl in a choking accident when she was just 9 months old.
Lovely Little Leo arrived with us in February 2015 and he has turned my world upside down again .. oh and we have a dog; Rolo.
Dan and I went on our first date in December 2009,engaged by May 2010 and married by September 2010. Our darling daughter Millie was planned and she came along and turned us into a little family in January 2012 … On the 23rd October 2012 our world was turned upside down and inside out when we were told that Millie was no longer alive… Most of you can’t even imagine what that feels like and I wouldn’t even want you too.
I’m writing this blog to give you an insight into what we have gone through since we have lost Millie and how we have dealt with our grief, how I got through my Rainbow pregnancy with Leo and to generally show you that there is light after the darkness of losing your child … I couldn’t see this when we lost Millie, nothing I read seemed to help but I hope that this blog will help you if you are ever sadly in a similar situation.
Same feet, same eyes, same nails, same skin – same everything but I’m a different me ….
Most people will believe they’re going to be the same person with the same persona, same laugh, same outlook on life… Then something life changing happens to you and you’re not the same you, you’re a different you. That’s not a bad thing, sometimes it may actually be a good thing.
Getting to this “different you” will have seen you walk along a path that’s unknown to you, you will have discovered things about yourself that you never thought possible, had thoughts that you never believed you had inside you, said things you never thought you could .. But that’s ok, this is you, the new you. The old you is there, the same person, just a different you.
It could’ve been a divorce, a life changing injury, the loss of a job or the bereavement of a loved one, whatever it is , you will never be the exact same person you were before, but that’s ok, this is you, the new you. Going through a life changing event doesn’t mean it is going to be bad for you, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be a good enough person anymore, events like the ones I am talking about change you as a person through growth, through maturity, through pain.
Experiencing something so painful in your life will ultimately change you, whether that be for better or for worse. I know this, more than most. So what right have I got to talk about this? My right, the making of my “same person, different you” – I lost my daughter, my precious, gorgeous little darling daughter.
At 27 years old, I had to deal with tragically losing my daughter in an accident when we sent her to nursery when she was just 9 months old. We got the phonecall that every parent dreads … Your child is with the paramedics… We never saw her alive again.
So that’s me, that’s my right to be a same person, different me and you know what, I’m learning to embrace it, I’m learning to at least like, not love, but like the new me …