Nearly his birthday …

Our biggest little man has been really ill for the past couple of days and it turns out that it’s tonsillitis 😢.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to have that as a toddler as it’s horrendous enough when you are an adult and you have it.

x. He's been a right little trooper throughout and still keeps giving us smiles every now and again. He's on antibiotics now from the doctor and these seem to making him a little perkier but it's awful watching your little ones being ill isn't it? I slept in his bed with him last night (well, I say slept but pretty much just led and watched him most of the night) and I could see how uncomfortable he was and I kept wishing I could make it all better for him.

I’m just hoping that he’s going to be better for Monday as it’s his birthday!

I cannot believe he is going to be 3… where has that time gone?

I cannot believe that nearly 3 years ago today, our little Tasmanian Devil was about to make his appearance and change our world for the better. I’m not sure Leo will ever understand what he did for his daddy and I when he became our little rainbow 🌈.

In the run up to Leo’s Birthday this coming Monday, I’m running a competition courtesy of B for Balloons in Stockport.u can win a choice of 1 of 11 animal balloons, like the one in the photo below.

Click here to enter Terms & Conditions

1. You have a choice to choose 1 of 11 animal designs.

2. You must be able to pick up from one of 2 B for Balloon stores either in Hazel Grove or Shaw Heath

3. No monetary exchange

4. Must agree to photograph publicity as a winner

5. You must pay a visit to B for Balloon Facebook page to enter

6. Ends midnight 19/02/2018

Visit Millie’s Trust to see our most recent course dates! Only 2 places left in March for Level 3 Paediatric First Aid.

Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas …

Presents wrapped, Reindeer dust scattered, vegetables peeled, meat ready for the slow cooker and a key left for Father Christmas to be able to get into our house.

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Candles lit, decorations left and flowers ready for Millie’s resting place tomorrow.

Always two sides to our Christmas…

And Mummy daddy are absolutely shattered and on the Amaretto and Quality Street already!

Merry Christmas everyone 🤣

Let’s see what tomorrow brings, x

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We survived!

We survived, we survived … day 1 of home life with daddy at work!

I’ve been worried about today for a few weeks, wondering how I was going to cope once Dan went back to work, but it’s now 8pm and everything is calm 😀… hasn’t been like that all day though 🤪.

Follow my blog on facebook I did manage to get a 30 second shower this morning before Asher’s vocals nearly burst the sound barrier! Of course, he didn’t actually want anything, just a cuddle and obviously this was fine, even if I was cuddling him trying not to get him wet with a half soaked towel. I got him settled (tried him in his actual big cot and he seemed to like looking at the trees outside), walked back to the bathroom following my wet footprints that I had left behind rushing to Asher earlier. I didn’t get chance to get back in the shower and wash my hair, but luckily my wonderful hairdressers convinced me many moons ago that washing my hair every day wasn’t good for it, so I’m going with that now 😀 (quite a mighty feat for someone who has washed her hair EVERY day for the past 20 years pretty much!)

Decided last night that we were going to get up and go for a walk this morning to get some fresh air and we did eventually manage this, once I had worked out how to put the rain cover on the pram, as I hadn’t used it on this part of the pram before! Once I’d worked this out and had Asher in the pram, I unlocked the door and Asher started to fill his nappy – waited until he’d finished, ran him upstairs to change his nappy and attempted the walk.

Fast forward through the walk (which was actually quite easy and good for my head space), it was dinner time! Leo’s currently addicted to Jam and Cheese sandwiches, not together I might add (although I may actually try that tomorrow as he keeps taking one bite of the cheese one and once bite of the jam one and chewing them together), who knew that would be tasty? I’m so not tempted to try this myself.

I have literally stepped on a thousand (okay, that may be a slight exaggeration there but it was pretty close) of wooden puzzles pieces, which Leo had taken out of a pile that was all ready to put in the loft for when Asher is a bit older as Leo has outgrown them but of course because we were putting them away, he wanted to play with them! Go figure ?!?!

Follow me on Instagram, click here I honestly think Asher did his best today to beat his nappy changing record as I seem to have gone through twice as many as we have all weekend and we have had at least one major explosion/full clothing change and wet wipe bath today, (I’m surprised that it wasn’t more to be honest).

Leo thoroughly enjoyed playing on Asher’s play mat today, he is way too big for it but he was enjoying it. The play mat involved our only real disaster today … Leo managed to kick my cup (yes I said cup, lots of people tell me that I’m odd for drinking pop out of a cup and not a glass) over and yes it was totally full of pop and we had a little lake appearing over the living room carpet – cue Leo bursting into tears because a) he was upset that he had knocked it over when I had said be careful and I think he thought he was in trouble and b) he was now covered in pop – Leo’s only change of the day! As this was happening of course Asher filled his nappy again and during my attempt at changing Asher and Leo running around the living room half naked, someone knocked on the door!

There wasn’t a chance that I was going to make it to the door, not without showing both my children’s backsides to whom ever it was! Two naked bums, knocking continuing at the door, two rather loud children – one laughing, one screaming and my absolute nutter of a dog running around barking like crazy at our visitor and me stood here laughing in the middle of it all 😂! I told Dan when he got home after this story that we need to invest in a RING doorbell so I can see through a camera who it is and tell whoever it is to leave whatever they are delivering or tell me whatever they want want whilst talking through the doorbell to me as there was no chance that I was answering that door today; whoever it was so knew I was in, so I apologise if you are reading this 😂, I was not intentionally ignoring you.

In between all this, I was attempting to express milk! I’m express feeding with Asher. I did the same with Millie and Leo for different reasons. Millie never latched properly and it became much easier for me to express and I also liked the fact that Dan could feed her to (and do a night feed 😀) and with Leo, after what had happened with Millie, I wasn’t sleeping much after I had him due to stress and worry and I made the decision that I was expressing right from the beginning and that was that.

I expressed with Millie until about 16 weeks (even through Mastitis , ouch) and Leo until about 11/12 weeks. I’ll know when I’m ready to stop again with Asher.

Anyway, attempting to express today with Asher and little toddler man has been very interesting. I really struggled getting the time to do it today because every time I tried, one of the boys needed/wanted something so I had to stop! Dan came in from work about 4 hours after my last attempt at a longer expressing session and I had text him not long before saying I was in pain and it turned out I couldn’t wait much longer. Luckily, when I do express I get a lot and quickly, so I have been able to do it in the multiple 5/10 minute sessions that I’ve managed to get in earlier in the day when things were calmer.

Dan walked in from work to see Leo playing with his bricks still on the floor and me sat on the sofa with Asher asleep and snoring on my left shoulder and my boob out expressing milk out from my right! He walked in, burst out laughing and said “multi tasking” at its best, pretended to take a photo and took Asher from me then I could finish up easier! Honestly, what he saw was literally the story of my day 😀!

As you can see in the photo below at the end of the day, Leo was still smiling, Asher was happy in his bouncer and the living room was in absolute chaos and I realised that I hadn’t even been for a wee all day as I was too distracted 🙈… But … I did manage to get a load of washing and drying done (I sacked the ironing off though – I definitely did not have time for that)!

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I am totally glad that last night, I had the genius idea of cooking a chilli up for the next few days to put in the fridge – I’m off to eat it now.

Bring on Day 2! 😘

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I apologise if there are obvious spelling and grammar mistakes in this blog, I’ve literally written it in 10 minutes and need to eat food as I’ve managed to only eat a piece of toast today and need to re-fuel 😀)Check out my earlier blog and see why I’m supporting the #sleeponside campaign – Click here

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Epic love for family photographs

Many of you took a liking to my fabulous photograph that Sharon Wallis of Bramhall teased us with last week and now we have seen the final photos including an amazing one of Daddy and Asher, these are so special as we have similar ones with Leo and I regret so much not having them done with Millie – it never even crossed my mind to have professional shots done with Millie when she was born.

So, I’ll leave this one here.

Look how fabulous it is. We all go on about that mums should have their photos taken with with their children; but dads are equally as special and they should too.

To see my photograph click here

And if that wasn’t enough to melt your heart, check out the one below of big brother looking after little brother.

I’m so in love with all these amazing and special photographs. Sharon has a truly amazing talent to be able to capture images as stunning as these.

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Photo Credits: Sharon Wallis

Join us at our Children’s Christmas party where we have exclusive use of a play Centre.

Full details in the image below.

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Baby Room!

A while ago on my Facebook blog page, I was talking about how hard it is to decide on how to decorate a nursery. I’m not the most imaginative person when it comes to decoration but of course we wanted it to look lovely for our new arrival.

Many of you suggested lots of lovely ideas and we loved the idea of using animals in there. Millie had a Winnie The Pooh decorated nursery and Leo had stars – so we wanted a different theme and we had a blank canvas as at the end of last year we moved into a new home and luckily the room which was to become the baby’s new nursery was bright white when we moved in.

During these conversations on Facebook, a fabulous company called Stickerscape got in touch with me and suggested that we take a look at their website and see if anything caught our eye. We hadn’t even thought of using stickers instead of wallpaper but we were open to the idea.

On taking a look, we found some fabulous ideas and some amazing stickers. I had no idea how many we needed for the size of the room we have, so I sent a drawing with sizes of the room on to the lovely Fi and told her which stickers we liked and she worked out what we would need to make it look beautiful!

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A few days later … a well packaged delivery arrived and when we opened it,of course it had blue wrapping.

It was best if we painted the room and then tried to wait 2 weeks to attach the stickers to the wall, so Dan got painting (after I’d picked the colour).

We actually ended up waiting a little while longer than 2 weeks because Dan got Tonsillitis, twice in a row ( I have never known that to happen to anyone!) and we also had a new carpet installed and it turned out that there was a fault with it and we had to wait to get it replaced again. 🙈

Anyway, fast forward around 4 weeks from Dan originally painting and we could start getting the stickers on!

We read the instructions and we’d also been sent a YouTube link that showed how to apply them – This came in very handy as I myself don’t do very well reading instructions, I follow visual instructions much better. Check out the video here The stickers arrived in printed sheets and they only need a rough cut around the transfer, not a delicate time consuming cut which was good for us as neither of us have the patience for that. So we laid them out on the floor to see exactly what we had been sent and how big each sticker was.

Once we had taken a look, I started to cut all the stickers out into individual pieces as then you can put them exactly where you want on the walls. Whilst I did this, Dan and Leo prepared the walls and literally all this entailed was wiping the walls with a clean duster to get rid of anything that might be on the walls that could’ve shown through the stickers.

Next up Dan had to smooth over the back of the plastic with a card from his wallet to ensure that the sticker would come off correctly – this was a few seconds for each sticker at the most.

Next up, actually applying the stickers to the wall (this was definitely a Dan job as I have no patience, but to be honest as I was watching him put them on the wall, I realised that it was actually really simple). Leo of course wanted to be involved, so we gave him the job of collecting the excess cuttings from the stickers – despite the look on his face here, he was actually enjoying it!

The application of these stickers actually took a lot less time than we had originally thought. We thought it might be quite time consuming due to the detail of the stickers, but actually it wasn’t and only took a few hours from start to finish and the stickers look amazing! (You can see how big the tree sticker is by looking at the plug socket on the bottom of the wall)< <

They even got the approval of my granny last week when she visited and when I told her that I was writing a blog about them she said and I quote “Make sure that you tell them that your Granny said that I thought they looked like they were painted on, they are that good”. I think Granny approval says it all 😀.

There are lots of stickers to choose from including some fabulous In the Night Garden and Peppa Pig ones for little fans of those programmes.

Stickerscape also sent Leo a gift too, alongside wall stickers they do labels for children’s clothing/bags/shoes etc and they personalised some monster ones for him – which of course Leo loves!

Here are some in his wellies!

If you like the sound of using these stickers and other products that they sell, October is THE PERFECT time to purchase because they are donating £1 from every order to our Millie’s Trust Charity and to The Miscarriage Association as October is Baby/Infant Loss awareness month x

In conjunction with this, I’ve also written a blog for Stickerscape for a project they are supporting this month for baby loss awareness. Look out for that coming soon, as soon as it’s published, I’ll let you know!

Click here to view all their products and rangesFull disclosure: I was sent the Stickers for the nursery as a gift from Stickerscape but was not asked to review or blog, I wrote this blog to show you all what we’ve been doing and wanted to mention the company and how fab their products are 😀.

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Oh, the guilt!

Could I actually feel guiltier than I do?

Pregnancy is full of amazing moments, watching your baby move in your stomach, mum looking “blooming” lovely, hair and skin glowing, energy to carry on going to the gym, eating healthier etc. etc.…

Actually, no. My experience is the complete opposite

Being totally honest, I cannot stand being pregnant. People often presume that being pregnant especially after child loss should automatically mean that you would enjoy every second of the pregnancy and treasure everything that is happening, that you should be grateful that you have the opportunity to have another child again and be thankful for being able to have this experience again.

That’s exactly why I feel so bloody guilty. I lost Millie and had a not very enjoyable pregnancy with Leo, alongside the crappy physical experience that I had with nausea, sciatica, iron problems and exhaustion; I also had an awful time with my mental health and struggled to bond with the little man Leo growing inside me because of our previous loss of Millie. I couldn’t wait to just have Leo in my arms, to not only stop all the physical pain I was in but also because I knew that my mental health would be so much better once he arrived.

Then there was the miscarriage. Sadly, 12 weeks into my third pregnancy last November, I suffered a missed miscarriage that was not only physically hard but affected my mental health yet again. I was extremely embarrassed that my husband was watching me miscarry in the bathroom (I don’t even pee in front of him) but I needed him more than anything by my side, I couldn’t have gotten through it without him. It felt demeaning, I felt useless that I couldn’t protect my baby again and I was also filled with so much sadness that my husband was watching me lose his child.

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Then I got pregnant again earlier this year – and the cycle began again. I was diagnosed with HG, it turned out that I had huge problems with my iron that meant my body wasn’t doing what it should be with it and that was causing exhaustion. You might think here, she was just a little tired. It wasn’t that. I physically did not have any energy. I couldn’t shower, I couldn’t get dressed, I couldn’t come down the stairs and some days I couldn’t even lift my arms. Eventually after a few months, I was put on some medication that took a few weeks to work but my energy started to come back and I began to function again. I was so glad because I felt so guilty that I couldn’t play with my little boy Leo, he spent weeks seeing me laid up in bed or with my head down the loo, some days he even learnt to hold my hair back whilst I was throwing up. This type of illness played havoc with my mental health, it took a huge nose dive and some days I just didn’t want to wake up (when I did sleep) because I felt such a burden to my little family.

Click here to purchase Millie’s Trust merchandise VAT FREE for the final day until 9pm 30th Sept 2017. 

My hair comes out when I brush it when I’m pregnant, I can’t stand my skin, I can only eat certain foods and then the heartburn kicks in. I honestly feel like I am genuinely keeping Gaviscon in business and have been for the past few months. The hospital has given me tablets for the heartburn, they were great; for the first two weeks. Unfortunately now, they seem to wear off pretty much as soon as I have taken them; not fun.

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Then there is the bladder jumping. Yes, this little man seems to like partying on my bladder during the early hours of the morning, pretty much every day. This was okay in my last pregnancies, as I could get to the bathroom pretty quickly but now, I’m on crutches.

Did I not tell you that bit? No, well, just to add to the fun, my body is trying to wear me down even more by adding Sciatica and SPD to my list of pregnancy problems. Again something I was coping with until recently when my legs starting to go from underneath me, in particular if I had been asleep in bed during the night. It soon became where I couldn’t walk to the bathroom without having to hold on to pieces of furniture or the walls to get there. After a very quick referral (thank you NHS and Wythenshawe Midwife/Consultancy Teams) to a physiotherapist, I had a few sessions and was straight away given a support belt for my stomach (I really wish that I had the nerve to put a photo of it here – but believe me, it is the least sexy thing that you have ever seen. Think Tubi-Grip that you have when you sprain your wrist, except this one is big enough to go all the way from your boobs, across your stomach and to your hips).

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Dan just laughed. I don’t blame him. I look ridiculous.

Then came the crutches. Well this is lots of fun, with a toddler. Not.

I also have to use them every day even if I have no pain, so I don’t counter-act the benefit on good days. I feel like a total spanner. 8 months pregnant with this huge bump and on crutches – no wonder people are looking at me in sympathy.

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Chester Zoo was fun this week on my birthday. Dan hired me a mobility scooter. Oh the humiliation I was thinking … but actually it was a great idea and we got around so many more animals than if I would have been hobbling around on crutches. Leo thought it was hilarious and he got to have a little sit on it before we left.


The physical pain that I am in though isn’t a laughing matter. It’s excruciating some days and it makes me cry. It makes me really sad that I can’t play with Leo like I want to.

After all that – I’m not even sure that I have captured all the reasons that I don’t like pregnancy here – but you must get the idea.

To all you mums that completely adore being pregnant, I totally envy you – I really do. I wish I could enjoy my pregnancies; it would be great.

But to all those mums who feel even the slightest bit of guilt like myself, I’m with you, I feel your pain and it will all be over soon, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Bring on the Pink Botegga Prosecco and Camembert Cheese! I cannot wait. That’s all I can say!

Saturday 30 September is your last chance to purchase VAT free merchandise and Qualification Course places for Level 3 Paediatric First Aid and Emergency First Aid at work. You have until 9PM on this date to purchase VAT FREE. This includes are limited edition giraffes too, so please click here to purchase to save pennies before the increase.

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During October Stickerscape will be supporting Baby Loss Awareness UK 2017. Every sticker sold during this month we will donate £1 to the The Miscarriage Association (charity no. 1076829) and Millie’s Trust (charity no. 1151410).


We got his hair cut … finally

Well Leo, with the help of a very lovely young man at Famous Henry’s on Turves Road in Cheadle Hulme, today we managed to get your hair cut 🙈.

Up until about 5 or 6 months ago, Leo didn’t mind this but recently he just won’t let anyone go near it and it has driven me mad. We’ve tried various places but nothing seemed to work, I didn’t know what we were going to do.

So, I called the Barbers and explained that I had a toddler who was really struggling every time we tried to get it done and they said, “bring him down and we’ll see what we can do” I said, we’d pop in during early evening as I had to get home from work and Dan and I would take Leo down together as it’s a 2 man/woman job and with myself being 8 months pregnant, there is no way that I could handle him if he tried to escape from us!

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We headed on down there expecting the worse, a huge tantrum, screaming and the tears … what we didn’t expect was some extremely lovely barbers who talked to him, calmed him down and worked with us parents to make this as best of an experience as we all could.

We did have the tears, don’t get me wrong … and they were proper tears whilst holding daddy’s hand, the barber talking to him and mummy playing with toys in front of him attempting to get him looking straight ahead. Those tears, are totally heartbreaking!

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But between all three of us and discovering that it’s the noises of the clippers in the shop that he didn’t like …. we managed to get a smile through the tears and a gorgeous little haircut …

Don’t give up mummies and daddies if you’re struggling with the haircuts … you’ll get there, we have 😀

Thank you Famous Henrys xxx

Update: The barber’s name is Warren 😀

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