Today’s been a bad day.
Any special day is a bad day. People said these days would get easier after having Leo. They don’t. Not at the moment. Obviously all the “special days” that have been are made much nicer with having Leo here to make us smile and to have cuddles from but I wouldn’t say they have gotten easier.
Leo got his own Valentine card this year and a special rose from daddy and I, obviously he doesn’t know that and won’t know who are they are from every year until he is old enough to want to know!
Millie of course got a card and roses off us too. Our little Millie will always have red roses from us on Valentine’s Day. Aways makes me sad on this day that she’ll never get the excitement of having an anonymous signed card arrive on the doorstep or to receive a bunch of flowers from an admirer for her to look at and smile at.
One thing does really help us though. Every year since she was born, Millie has received Valentine’s gifts off someone else, a lovely little boy who is just a couple of weeks older than her. Millie sent a card to him on her first Valentine’s Day and got one back and every year since she has received special gifts on this day and I appreciate it so much. I appreciate the fact that Millie hasn’t been forgotten even on Valentine’s Day. So for this year will the be 5th year this gorgeous little boy has left her gifts and it makes me so happy yet so sad. (Big thank you to this little boy’s mummy, X)
Today has been a real down day and a day of tears for me. I keep my tears away from Leo at the moment so not to confuse him but when he is old enough, I’ll explain that even when I smile and I am happy, I am still partly sad inside and I know that he will understand.
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But for now, his lovely little hugs and smiles will keep me going through the day.
I’m looking forward to going to sleep and starting a new day tomorrow.
Happy Valentine’s Day xxx
Click here to read my last blog “you’ve been called”
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