The elves, Santa Claus and his reindeer have left us for the year and there is no doubt that they will be back next year to deliver presents to all our good little boys and girls.
We weren’t sure how this year was going to work for us, we knew we wanted to make it special for Leo, we knew we wanted it to be a quiet one and we knew we just wanted to be alone together.
We ticked all the boxes above and it genuinely worked for us – we had to concentrate on just our little family if we we were ever going to get through it – and we did.
We’ve started our own family traditions I hope that will carry on for many years; including an elf visiting and leaving Christmas Eve gifts in the form of pyjamas for us all in Leo’s cot whilst we were out visiting Millie lighting her Christmas Eve candles.
Millie was present all over Christmas on our dining room table – guarding the goodies for Santa and his reindeer for when they arrived and present when we ate our Christmas lunch too. (Although Leo actually wasn’t as he fell aseep, haha)
Bringing Leo into the room in the morning for him to open all his presents was a magical moment so full of happiness for Leo but also sadness for Millie and what she would never have …but…we remained calm and happy for Leo, with the odd few tears so we could experience his first christmas properly and take in every second of it. Although he is still only 10 months old, he had a real good scramble through his presents and ripped the paper to bits albeit, loving the paper and boxes more than the toys!
Leo really was spoilt by everyone – so much so that he napped half way through and 4 days later, he still has some wrapped presents on the side still waiting to be opened! I bet that won’t be happening when he is 5!
One of the best things about Christmas Day, we stayed on our pyjamas all day, even to visit Millie (although we did add extra layers as if was quite cold and muddy) , that is one of those reasons why I love stay at home Christmas’ – your own rules and no need to get dressed!
I cooked a lovely Christmas meal, substituting turkey for chicken as neither Dan not myself are massive fans of turkey and I cooked all the traditional things apart from one specific food item (I don’t think I need to name it) as I struggle seeing people eating it on bad/emotional days and I just couldn’t cook it for Christmas Day, my best bit – the Yorkshire Puds (see pic below) – although I do have a confession ….
I totally forgot to do them … Lol … until a friend (thanks Sally) posted a pic of hers on FB – 😀 … Cue me running to the kitchen and whipping up a fresh homemade batch up in 10 minutes … It’s a good job I know I can do things like that in cooking very quickly! That’s another thing, cooking – I used to love cooking and food before Millie passed – I mean really cooking from scratch and for quite a long time now, I lost my way with it – I lost all interest in cooking and just cooked, well quick and easy convenient food but slowly slowly this year, with help of a few people/groups giving me new ideas and recipes I’ve slowly started again and I’m starting to enjoy it – I think I might try and book on a cookery course next year, that’s so on my bucket list of things to do. Haha. I’m sure we all have these lists!
Anyway, back to Chistmas, ah yes – so our living room now looks like a toy shop has exploded in it and you know what, I love it – I don’t mind living in a room like this forever because this is one of the things that I missed so much when we lost Millie – the mess of toys being everywhere and the noise, the bleeping, the constant repetition of tunes and the sore feet from standing on the bits of toys – I love hearing it all again with Leo.
So, turns out that Dan and I are total opposites when it comes to unwrapping presents – I let Leo rip everything open and the paper and boxes stayed all over and Dan wanted to start getting it all in the rubbish bins as soon as it started getting everywhere until everything is open – but I think that is part of Christmas – the mess, I love it! I’m pretty sure there are a lot of people out there now thinking “I am either a Joanne OR a Dan present opener” – which are you?
It turns out that Leo really liked Christmas, he was so excited all day! He hardly slept – apart from a few naps but he had a nice long 12 hour sleep that evening, I am so not surprised, I think he is still catching up now as last night he did 14 hours!!
Mummy and daddy haven’t done to bad either, it’s been really tough, I think Dan described it as “good but strange” – perfect description I would say.
We also of course made sure that Millie’s sleeping place was looking so pretty, this was taken on Christmas Eve before we placed any of our Christmas things. (Oh and I’m not going to go into it as I have done previously, the mysterious white rose leaver who visits on special dates to us but won’t tell us who you are, stop wasting your money because they went straight in the bin, as per usual – whoever you are – you have a total lack of respect for us as a family, that’s enough wasted words on them).
We always make sure Millie’s sleeping place is looking as pretty as we can – anyone who looks after a sleeping place will understand how hard this is in winter, it is so hard trying to find things that will last and that’s why we appreciate all our family and friends who visited over Christmas even more. Below is one of Millie’s “Christmas presents” – using the term loosely here because as you all know, I don’t want to be buying our 3 year old daughter flowers for Christmas, I shouldn’t be – just like every other parent who has lost a child.
So, to end; we got through it and we are still standing. There were smiles and tears and I’m sure that there will be a million more until our final days but we did, we rocked Christmas and we hoped that you did too. xxx
Follow me on Instagram
NB: Please note that Millie’s Trust is closed over the Christmas period and will re-open on Monday 4th Jan 2016.