Leo is one year old.
How crazy is that? This year has just gone so amazingly fast it’s beyond belief. Leo hitting one is a belter of a milestone for us to hit and for us to have dealt with as well as we have done.
It is always hard to try and work out how we will feel on certain days or at certain milestones – to be honest, I’m not even sure why I worry about how we’re going to feel as there’s nothing I can do about it.
We debated all week. In fact, that’s not the truth; we debated all month, on where to go with Leo on his actual birthdayas we wanted it to be special. We didn’t want to go to Chester Zoo as we wanted to have his own special thing as the zoo has always been Millie’s special place. We then became restricted by the terrible weather that most of us have had for the past week, so we needed somewhere indoors… We spoke about Blue Planet. Now this is where it became a little harder because the last time we actually went to Blue Planet was on Dan’s only Father’s Day with Millie and Dan was struggling with this, so ultimately I left the decision to him and when it came to it on Friday morning, he felt like he wanted to go – so we did.
I couldn’t have written what happened on the way over to Bluewater if I tried …But let me show you some photos of Leo beforehand first.
Leo absolutely loved being surprised with his birthday presents – there’s such a difference in his reaction since Christmas and that was less then 8 weeks ago. He was into his presents quicker than we could get through the living room door.
We showed him his brilliant trike which his lovely Auntie Linz (hi Linz 😀) bought for him and he loved it and sat in it opening the rest of his presents – in fact he loved it that much that later in the afternoon, we took him for a walk in it and he cried when I tried to take him out!
He loved his birthday balloons that our lovely friend Jay from B for Balloons made up for him for his birthday (along with a special one for Millie) and he has spent lots of the weekend playing with them (Rolo has tried to play with them too, but she has been banned).
So we headed on up to drop a balloon off with Millie so she was included in Leo’s birthday celebrations and then we set off to Bluewater… during this journey, we knew that Millie was with on Leo’s birthday.
So just remember here that we are heading to a place that we last visited on our only Father’s Day with Millie.
Listening to Smooth Fm on the way there, Millie’s song started to play – You Can Call me Al by Paul Simon, now if you know this song, you know it’s not one that you hear all the time on the radio – we were about 5 miles from Blue Water at this point and both Dan and I started to cry, I’m guessing we were both thinking the same thing. Then I noticed what time it was – I didn’t mention it to Dan until later, it was 11.35; roughly the time that Millie started to lose her life – now if these two things combined aren’t a sign that Millie was with us then I don’t know what is. I’ve said this before, I don’t believe in God at all, certainly not after losing Millie but I do believe in spirits and that when we lose someone they are still with us.
Wow.Bluewater was busy whe we arrived, but that was fine – we knew it would it was half term! Once we were in there, Leo loved it 😀😀😀.
We had a lovely day, it was so hard but we all enjoyed it and Leo loved all his new presents and his outings. We have to keep smiling for Leo, sometimes it’s really hard and other times it just comes naturally and it’s lovely when that happens. Millie is always in our thoughts and we’ll always know that she is with us wherever we are.
When we got home, I had another surprise for Leo. I had made him a homemade mummy cake, you can have a good laugh now, haha! I promise it tasted better than it looked … I don’t have the patience for cake decorating, I could never make a business out of it!
So, then there was the party debate – should we , shouldn’t we? We decided to go ahead and have one for Leo because we would have done for Millie on her 1st birthday and we didn’t want Leo to miss out. So we did. Today.
Now, if you’ve read previous blogs of mine, you’ll know about Leo and I going on our Messy Monkeys adventures – so that’s the party we decided to have for him, with a Paw Patrol theme.
Pretty sure that the parents of the children invited to his party were cursing me today when they saw how messy we got! Haha. I’m only joking, they all absolutely loved it and was great to see all the parents getting involved too! Not many people walked out of the door clean today!
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I’ve got to say that this party was absolutely fantastic and the girls that hosted were brilliant! It was such a different party that had everyone smiling and laughing their heads off, just what we needed.
I’m still not comfortable with Leo eating food outside our home in busy places but of course we still put food on and had the most AMAZING Paw Patrol cake made by Victoria Queen of Cakes. It looked fantastic and tasted gorgeous! As you can see, it looked a lot more special than my homemade effort! Thanks Vicky for making Leo smile with your cake X (we brought some home for Leo to try)
This weekend has been emotional,fun,sad,happy, full of miss,love and pride – in fact very emotion you can think of we have been through and you know what, that’s ok.
Leo is now in bed flat out snoring and Dan and I are crashing on the sofa after a crazy few days.
Happy 1st Birthday Leo, love Mummy, Daddy, your big sister Millie and Rolo of course. Xxx
Paw Patrol Cake made by Victoria Queen of Cakes,Stockport
All Balloons by B for Balloons, Stockport
For details of Messy Monkeys click here