I want more chocolate cake 

It was my birthday this weekend. Quiet one. I wasn’t really in the mood for celebrating my birthday this and I took only one photo on the day whilst Dan was feeding Leo … this was it 😘

Leo clearly didn’t like the end of mummy’s chocolate birthday cake … 

I had a little wander to Styal Mill with Dan, Leo and Rolo and then of course went to visit Millie at her sleeping place and took her some new flowers. 
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Birthdays are a hard time.

I always feel like I shouldn’t be celebrating but I know that I need to keep things normal for Leo as he’s growing up. 

He and Dan made me smile … but that photo is brilliant! 


Read my previous blog “Finally got my feet up” by clicking here 

Finally got my feet up

Finally got my feet up at home with a magazine, lovely smelling candle wax burning from Cheshire Candles and admiring our lovely flowers that we received at Millie’s Ball last night from the fabulous B for Balloons and I Do Venue Dressing whom made me cry with their speech about how we inspire them. (This was totally unexpected as we knew nothing about this little bit of the evening – but it was so lovely of them). 

So many people have been working hard on our ball this week and everything went so smoothly last night and by the chat we’ve heard, most people were impressed with what we pulled together and are already asking us when the next one is! I need to sleep a little first 😀 

It is so overwhelming when you stand in front of a room and realise that all these people are here on this night together because of your family, because of your daughter. Thousands of pounds were raised in Millie’s memory last night and this was done with lots of smiles and laughter throughout the evening and from people that had travelled from literally all over the UK and Ireland to be in Manchester just for Millie’s Trust! In particular here is our local Councillor Mark Hunter who has been a massive help with the fight for Millie’s Mark with Denis Naughten from Ireland who flew in specially for our event as he is a huge a big supporter of ours and wants to continue helping with our promotion in Ireland.


The venue looked absolutely stunning courtesy of I Do Venue Dressing and B for Balloons in Stockport who literally worked their socks off to get it just perfect for Millie. In fact, I have never heard so many people complimenting a room decor at an event so much before, it was so lovely to hear. The girls did themselves proud! 

 How amazing does it look? These girls have some real talent and I’m proud to call them our friends.


Little Leo of course came to the ball, this is what he thought of it …

I’m only kidding – but this was a greatly timed shot! He actually had a lovely time whilst being looked after by his Grandma Jackie and then was taken upto bed in the hotel around 9.30 where he fell asleep whilst his Grandma watched over him, with a few visits from mummy of course! (Can’t help myself)…

He was soon in this state;

The party carried on downstairs though as he slept through and by the feedback we have had people had a fantastic time and the atmosphere was truly very special in the room – there are some fabulous photos coming out at the moment! 


So this is one huge thank you to everyone who was involved with the ball, whether you donated your time, a prize, played in the band or were soloist for us, packed up goodie bags,volunteered for us on the evening, bought a table,decorated the room for us … we genuinely want to thank you from the bottoms of our hearts because without you nights like last night would not be a success!

One last thing we did today to do with the ball was take some of the balloons down to Millie’s resting place – we always do this after our events. It looked beautiful again when we left.

So it’s time to get some sleep, close the fundraising file on the ball and start planning the next one! 

To read my previous blog NEW INK – click here 

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New Ink

So I got some new ink today… I know some people don’t like tattoos but I do and I love adding to my collection … especially ones that mean something 


“A semicolon is used when an author could’ve ended a sentence but chose not to. 

You are the author and the sentence is your life. “


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To read my last blog Been to Cornwall – Click here 

Christmas Markets – Looking for stall holders

Millie’s Trust have just launched our Christmas Market Event on Weds 30th November at 7pm at Manchester Rugby Club and we are now looking for stall holders.

If you are a local business or know someone that might want a stall, please ask them to email events@milliestrust.com

Been to Cornwall

Sitting at Millie’s resting place is so peaceful and calm. Many of you won’t be able to relate to that and honestly, that’s a good thing – I’m glad that you can’t. 

I’m sat here right now after not being here for a week because we went away and got back last night. 

Well, actually – we ran away. 

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We didn’t want to be here over the few days that Millie should’ve been starting school.

I didn’t want to see all the gorgeous little kiddies, girls in particular being walking to their brand new schools – I know it would’ve hurt too much; some of you will think we took the cowards way out by running away but it was what was best for us and until you’ve walked in our shoes (which I actually don’t want you to ever have to do that), you’ve absolutely no right to judge.

Before we left last Saturday, we came and lay a gorgeous bouquet of flowers down for Millie – a bouquet bought by money that should have gone on Millie’s first school uniform or school shoes, not flowers for her sleeping place. 

I’m not going to lie. I’ve struggled for this past few weeks, both of us have. The earliest part of last week was very hard in particular for us and we argued. Stupid, silly little arguments because we were both upset over Millie not being here starting school. It can’t be helped, we know that we are are always going to argue around special times that we should be going through with Millie – part of our grieving process I think and I know that’s never going to change. 


I even abandoned Facebook – my personal page. I knew that I couldn’t cope with all the obligatory first day of school door photographs which I know is a rite of passage – so I decided to come off it for it a while, so I didn’t have to see them. I’ll go back and have a look on a good day. 

I was going to post a photo on here of our door that Millie should’ve been standing in front of – but there would be no point in me doing that because Millie wouldn’t have ever been stood in front of a door in the house that we live in now because we wouldn’t be living here. As many of you already know, we moved not long after Millie passed away because our garden backed onto the fields of that place where she passed away and we couldn’t stay living there watching other children play – it would’ve genuinely ended probably both of our lives. 

And the doors that we have now – even Leo won’t have his photo taken in front of them because we’ve recently put our house up for sale; because that is all it is. 

A house.


It’s never really felt like a home to us because we moved here as a means to an end and have never had any intention of staying or making it a home. It was what we needed at the time.  I don’t even remember viewing the house we live in now or actually moving in and that makes me sad. That’s part of the reason that we now want to find a “home”.

I actually genuinely cannot wait to choose our next home once ours sells because I can’t wait to pick out wallpaper that I want to come home too and have furniture in my garden that I want to sit in and watch Leo play in. It will be lovely to feel like we have a “home” again.

In a few years time though, we will be taking those first day photographs of Leo and I know that someone may look at them and feel sad like I do right now and even now I want to give that person a big hug. 

For now though, we had a break, made some amazing new memories with our gorgeous Leo but it’s good to be back. xxx

Trying to get that family pic …. Always the same 😂

To read my blog I WISH click here 


I wish. 

September is here. 

I’ve been dreading it all year. 

Many of you will be getting those last minute things for your little ones this weekend as they start their first day of school next week (I know some have done so already) … School bags, pencil cases, jumpers, socks, brand new shiny shoes.

You know what we got to buy today for our girl instead of her first school uniform. 

We got to buy this. 

Flowers for her sleeping place. I’m so angry right now. I hadn’t got to anger about this milestone yet, today I have. 

Today I got angry. 

Our girl should be here. Our girl should be starting school on Monday. We should be stood at those school gates. 

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I wish I got to complain about how expensive her school uniform is. I wish I got to complain about how it was hard work it is in the school holidays. I wish I got to complain about she had outgrown her school shoes again and I had to buy some more.

I wish. I wish. I wish. 

Three times and it comes true right? 

I wish. 


A very upset mummy X


Millie’s Mark has officially opened for applications … Please click here to visit the brand new website for details.

To view a little clip about Millie’s Mark – Click here

For my previous blog “Help me mummy, I’m stuck” – click here