Monthly Archives: October 2017

New addition meets new addition

Here’s our new little addition Asher meeting our new little addition to the charity, our limited edition 5 year anniversary Giraffe today. I did attempt to get Leo to pose too, but as you can see in the background here – he is having way too much fun running around.

These giraffes are limited edition and we only have a third of our stock left now, so if you’d like to get your hands on one, you really need to get your order in as soon as possible.

You can purchase them here

Standard colours of pink & blue available too 😀

To read our birth announcement from earlier this week, click here <<<<<<<

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Join us for our Christmas Party whilst we have EXCLUSIVE use of Let Loose Play Centre

The children can dance their energy off at our Christmas Disco, before having a buffet tea, a play on the amazing playframe (toddler room is available) and a meet and greet with Santa before receiving a present before they go home to sleep.

Please note that all children, including under 1’s do need a ticket for this event

BOOK NOW

New little man is here!

***Official Birth Announcement***

Now that I’ve had 5 minutes to get chance to write a few more words this afternoon, we are very pleased to let you all know that on Sunday 22nd October 2017, we had a brand new edition to our family arrive very swiftly and he is absolutely gorgeous.

We have called him ASHER DANIEL JOSEPH THOMPSON… and he weighed a fantastic 8lb 2oz and we were all home very quickly with no issues.

We would like to say a massive thank you to all the staff that dealt with us whilst we were in Wythenshawe Hospital this weekend whom made the whole process as easy as possible for us as they all knew how worried we were about possibly having him on Millie’s Anniversary (he didn’t, he arrived the day before) as it was really distressing myself in particular.

Thank you to everyone for all your kind words xxx

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Ready my blog, “We have a little secret” to see the first photo of Leo & Asher together.

We have a little secret

We have a confession to make and a little secret to tell you …. with it being Millie’s Anniversary yesterday, we decided to hold off on announcing this …. we had a small addition to the family this weekend … our baby was born 💙.

With it being Millie’s anniversary yesterday, we were struggling anyway but even more so over the past few days, I have been an emotional wreck …. so haven’t been able to sit and write a blog announcement yet.

So, here’s a little pic of Leo and his little brother and when I get chance later today or tomorrow, you’ll get to discover his name and when he arrived. 😀 x

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Fifth Anniversary

If I could just have one more minute with you,

I would tell how much I love you, so much, so utterly so, you would hardly believe it was true.

If I could just hold your hand one last time with our fingers clasped together,

I would hold them so tight that this feeling would last not just for a little while, it would last forever.

If I could just watch you one last time from a corner and see you wiggle your little bum when you dance,

I would give so much to freeze that moment in time as a family to give us all one last chance.

If I could have just five seconds with you to see for one last time that amazing smile upon on your face,

I would take a camera and keep snapping away until I had too memory to file away in my memory bookcase.

If I could just … I would my darling xxx

Remembering Millie on her 5th anniversary with a heavy heart and a river of tears. x

Text MILL05 £3 to 70070 to support Millie’s Trust on Millie’s 5th anniversary.

Donation can be changed from anything from £1 to 10.

To read Eve of Millie’s 5th Anniversary Blog, Click Here

You can also donate to Millie’s Anniversary Project using the link CLICKING HERE

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Eve of Millie’s 5th Anniversary

It’s here again upon us, the eve of the date that I detest,

Every year I hope that it will get easier, that it won’t sit so high upon my chest.

But it starts a ticking clock a few weeks ahead of time,

In this mixed up, swirly world that’s known as this confused head of mine.

I sit and watch the clock as the minutes tick on by,

As once again I question, why was it us? Will I ever actually know why?

The tears they keep on flowing as we can’t stop this slow descent,

Into a mist of awful fogginess, wondering if we’ll ever genuinely be quite content.

There’s a piece of us always missing from our used and broken heart,

But we’ll always keep it open, so she knows, we’re never quite as far apart.

5 years , it’s Millie’s 5 year anniversary tomorrow and I just cannot get my head around it.

To us, it only seems like yesterday but an an eternity since we last felt her touch.

Please text in your donation to Millie’s Trust for Millie in memory of her on her 5th anniversary xxx

Text MILL05 £5 to 70070

(Donation can be changed from between £1 to £10)

Thank you for remembering her at this time of year xxx

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Read my Guest Blog for October here

Click here to purchase our limited edition Giraffe especially for Millie’s 5th anniversary

( Due to be dispatched w/c 23rd October 2017)

Stickerscape Guest Blog

I guest blogged for Stickerscape last week in conjunction with Baby Loss Awareness Week. Below is the blog that I wrote for them.

Don’t forget that in October for every sale made, Stickerscape will donate a £1 to Millie’s Trust and The Miscarriage Association. Click here to have a look at what they sell

There is a well-known misconception that “it will never to happen to me”.

We all want to believe that we will live in these happy marriages with our wonderful children, that we’ll grow old and see them get married and have children themselves.  That’s how it should be. I thought it would be for us.

I met my husband, married not long after and our first planned pregnancy happened and our gorgeous daughter Millie soon came along and we were so in love with her, our new family life and how she made us feel.

We watched her laugh, cry, grow, smile and develop her stunning little personality, she was fast becoming her own little person and we loved watching this amazing little girl learn and discover something new every day.

Then we lost her.

Nine months. That’s all we got and she was gone.

No warning, no illness, just suddenly taken.

Millie was only in nursery for 3 days when she choked on her lunch.

Ten days later, we buried our little girl; our world had been taken.

We didn’t just lose our daughter; we lost our family life.

We no longer had our morning alarm clock daughter; we had no reason to get up anymore, we didn’t want to be here anymore, we didn’t want to live.

 Millie had become our world and our world was shattered in an instant. We couldn’t function, not at work, not at home, not as human beings. I wasn’t eating, I didn’t have the energy to shower, I didn’t cook, I didn’t watch TV, I didn’t’ read… I literally stopped everything.

Both of us became reliant on anti-depressants and sleeping tablets, it was the only way that we could cope. Our lives become one big circle of crying, visiting Millie’s resting place and sleeping, nothing else mattered – apart from making sure each of us was still here for the other.

Our marriage was in danger, according to statistics 80% of marriages fail after the loss of a child – we didn’t want to become part of that figure, we worked so hard not to become part of that figure, but it was extremely hard. Both of us could have easily walked away at any point, but we stood by one another, dealt with the arguments, the guilt, the pain and 5 years later we are through the worst of it.

A large part of my time after losing Millie I spent wondering if I ever wanted to have another child again, could I risk ever having to go through this pain if it happened all over again? I decided not. I didn’t want to have another child.

Not long after I had made that decision, we travelled half way across the world to New Zealand to meet another family who had tragically lost their son in a very similar incident in a nursery; they had since gone on to have another child.

Meeting this family completely changed my mindset, if they could do it, why couldn’t I?

Just over 12 months later, our Rainbow Baby Leo arrived late one evening. During my pregnancy with him, I really struggled to bond with him, I couldn’t even bring myself to look at his scan photographs for a long time, I just needed to hold him, to hear him cry and when he did, that first time – the relief was emancipating, it’s the only way to describe it.

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Our Rainbow baby brought back our family life. He brought back our smiles, he brought back our laughter and he brought back our lives.  We will be forever in his debt for that. He is obviously far too young to understand what he has done for us – but he will one day.

Is that the end of our “it will never happen to me”

Sadly not, just over 2 years later – we sadly suffered a missed miscarriage around the 12-week mark. After struggling so much bonding with Leo in my pregnancy with him, I felt a little more relaxed with this pregnancy. I felt as though everything would be fine, nothing could go wrong again could it? We had been through so much with Millie that losing a baby couldn’t happen to us again could it?  I was so angry when I miscarried, what had we done to deserve this?  Again.

But it did, yet again we became another statistic, this time in the national miscarriage figures.

We gave our miscarried baby a name. There’s only Dan and I know that special name, we couldn’t not do this – it felt as though it was a mark of respect; a mark of existence for our child.

This time though, I wanted, I needed to be pregnant again. We tried as soon as we could and I am now 8 and half months pregnant about to have another little boy.

Our journey has been horrendous but our rainbow babies have slowly pieced our family back together. There will always be pieces forever missing, our hearts will huge gaps but the stitching is helping.

We have never “gotten over” losing Millie or our miscarried baby – people are extremely wrong for saying this will happen especially when they have absolutely no experience and it’s normally those people that like to offer their opinion.

You learn to live with what has happened – that’s the only way to put it.

Love Joanne,

Forever a mum of 4, not just the 2 that you will see me holding hands with

xxx

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Copyright: Joanne Thompson

Website: www.samepersondifferentme.com

Twitter & Intstagram: @millieleosmum

Facebook. www.facebook.com/samepersondifferentme

To read how we got on using Stickerscape products, click here

Hi, My name is

Hello.

My name is Joanne.

And I have mental health problems.

Seems easy that doesn’t it?

It’s not. It’s hard. It’s really hard.

It’s one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to admit to myself.

That I had problems and I needed help.

That I needed help more than I could ever have imagined.

The trigger of my illness? My daughter suddenly passing so unexpectedly. Things I saw on that day. Things I didn’t want to see. Things I didn’t want to hear. Things that I had no control over. Things that I couldn’t stop. Things I couldn’t change.

Of course I was grieving for my daughter but I thought I was normal. I thought everyone grieved like I was.

Turns out that I wasn’t though.

I was one of the lucky ones. If you can call me that. I didn’t feel lucky after losing our daughter. Although I was lucky. Lucky to get quick access to an amazing NHS psychologist – because if I hadn’t have done, I know that I wouldn’t be here today.

That might sound dramatic. It’s not though, it’s the truth.

My darling husband realised that I wasn’t functioning as I should be. That I wasn’t grieving like he was. That I was different. That something was wrong.

I didn’t want to believe it. I’m glad he made me go to the doctors though. It saved me.

I was diagnosed with

Severe Anxiety

Severe Depression

Severe PTSD

Panic attacks

Complex Grief

So, as you can see. It turns out that I wasn’t just grieving.

It’s roughly 4 years down the line now since my first psychologist session, when I didn’t really say much,I just sat and cried and then got angry. It’s a little different nowadays I talk more, I pour my heart out sometimes. I was there just last week. It’s not an easy fix to deal with mental health problems.

It’s hard work.

Its emotional.

It’s heartbreaking.

It’s torturous.

But as the old saying goes, “it’s good to talk”. It truly is.

Some days I can’t function. I feel like I’m failure as a wife, as a Mum, as friend … as everything.

These illnesses nearly cost us our marriage, nearly cost us the chance of having more children. I could’ve ran away. I wanted Dan to be with someone who could make him happy. Not to be with someone who cried herself to sleep most nights, that woke up and didn’t want to speak to him, that didn’t want to socialise. I wanted to leave so he could be happy. But he loves me more than I could ever have imagined and he stood by me and he’s my rock.

Social media is full of all these fabulous photographs that are photoshopped, edited, filtered – often we only see what people want us to see. They want you to see that their life is perfect and oh so happy.

So here is an unfiltered, unedited, unattractive photograph of what I looked like after a very recent anxiety attack and this is after nearly 5 years of having them. I took this 3 weeks go, not knowing if or when I was going to show it – but today seems right to do so, on World Mental Health Day. There was a trigger for this attack, I’ll talk about it in another blog when I’m ready …

After this attack, I was burnt out for a couple of days. It’s not like this just for a few minutes, the after effects always last a few days and it takes a while to piece me back together – but Dan and Leo always do this for me and help me through it.

So now you’ve read this, I’ve said this before.

Time to text that friend who you might not have heard from in a while, that might have been distant, that might have seemed rude last time that you spoke to them.

They could need that text more than you could imagine tonight. Offer them a brew. It might take them 3 months to take you up on the offer, but they will, when they’re ready. Let them know you’ll wait.

Mental Health does scare people, that’s not a surprise at all.

But the person it scares the most, is the person who is suffering and they might not even know it.

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Read one of my recent blogs here, Unexpected Reminders

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Donation can be anything between £1 and £10

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