Tag Archives: Millie

Fifth Anniversary

If I could just have one more minute with you,

I would tell how much I love you, so much, so utterly so, you would hardly believe it was true.

If I could just hold your hand one last time with our fingers clasped together,

I would hold them so tight that this feeling would last not just for a little while, it would last forever.

If I could just watch you one last time from a corner and see you wiggle your little bum when you dance,

I would give so much to freeze that moment in time as a family to give us all one last chance.

If I could have just five seconds with you to see for one last time that amazing smile upon on your face,

I would take a camera and keep snapping away until I had too memory to file away in my memory bookcase.

If I could just … I would my darling xxx

Remembering Millie on her 5th anniversary with a heavy heart and a river of tears. x

Text MILL05 £3 to 70070 to support Millie’s Trust on Millie’s 5th anniversary.

Donation can be changed from anything from £1 to 10.

To read Eve of Millie’s 5th Anniversary Blog, Click Here

You can also donate to Millie’s Anniversary Project using the link CLICKING HERE

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Eve of Millie’s 5th Anniversary

It’s here again upon us, the eve of the date that I detest,

Every year I hope that it will get easier, that it won’t sit so high upon my chest.

But it starts a ticking clock a few weeks ahead of time,

In this mixed up, swirly world that’s known as this confused head of mine.

I sit and watch the clock as the minutes tick on by,

As once again I question, why was it us? Will I ever actually know why?

The tears they keep on flowing as we can’t stop this slow descent,

Into a mist of awful fogginess, wondering if we’ll ever genuinely be quite content.

There’s a piece of us always missing from our used and broken heart,

But we’ll always keep it open, so she knows, we’re never quite as far apart.

5 years , it’s Millie’s 5 year anniversary tomorrow and I just cannot get my head around it.

To us, it only seems like yesterday but an an eternity since we last felt her touch.

Please text in your donation to Millie’s Trust for Millie in memory of her on her 5th anniversary xxx

Text MILL05 £5 to 70070

(Donation can be changed from between £1 to £10)

Thank you for remembering her at this time of year xxx

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Read my Guest Blog for October here

Click here to purchase our limited edition Giraffe especially for Millie’s 5th anniversary

( Due to be dispatched w/c 23rd October 2017)

Amazing!

I am often amazed at the way that people treat Dan and I and what we have done since Millie’s passing. We have some people that are supposed to be close to us that couldn’t be further away from understanding what we have been/are going through, especially at certain times of the year. Yet total strangers often surprise the most with their sense of understanding towards what has happened to us and their generosity in supporting our charity in whatever way they can.

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Today, despite my not being able to walk very far at the moment (Click here to see why) and being not far from my due date, Dan, Leo & I ventured down to V12 Hair Boutique in Cheadle Hulme who for the 5th year running are this year supporting Millie’s Trust by holding a 24 hour salonathon!

This is an amazing event that they hold every year and what I find the most amazing about it, is that the first time that they did it – they didn’t actually know our family and the charity hadn’t even been running for a year but their belief in us and what we were doing was outstanding.

I asked Vikki (the salon owner) why they did what they did for us and this is what she told me.

“This is now my 5th year opening my salon doors for 24hours to raise money for Millie’s Trust. We offer all non chemical hair dressing services for a full 24hours and accept donations for our work. I felt that I wanted to do something that was a challenge  so when I had a dream I opened my salon for 24 hours, I thought “why not?” Let’s do this! I chose Millie’s Trust as it was a local charity and not even a year old.I had no idea how it would go and set a target of £250, I think the first year we raised £1500! Not too bad from a dream!

As the years have gone by we as a family look forward to the challenge, (even though we ask why we do it to ourselves at 4am)

Click here to join the Facebook Event Page 

When I first started this for Millie’s Trust I didn’t know Joanne and Dan but over the years we have become friends raising money for their wonderful charity that started up when they tragically lost their daughter Millie.

We also run a raffle and ask as many local and national business’ to support us and the response we get is fantastic. (so if you can donate anything, please do get in touch)

We love doing it, decorating the salon and getting clients old and new together for a community event. We even have regulars that come to the event at 3am for a hair cut, every year without fail!

I once gave Joanne the choice of date, never again! She picked (without knowing I might add) the weekend the clocks went back, yes we ended up doing 25 hours! Thank you Jo!

So, please if you have a few pennies to spare, we know that the girls will appreciate every single penny and it will keep them going through the early hours of 2am, 3am, 4am etc whilst they are still washing, blow drying and cutting hair! Can we help them hit their £500 online target???

You can donate by clicking here

Or donate easily by text

TEXT

HAIR12 £5 to 70070

(£5 can be changed from £1 to £10)

If you are local and on your way home from a night out tonight, pop in and say hi and throw a few pennies in a box or have a 3am wash & dry 💕💕💕!

All in Millie’s memory xxx

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Thank you to everyone who has made a donation, supported us in anyway or held a fundraiser in our daughter’s memory in the last 5 years. 💕💕💕

Baby Room!

A while ago on my Facebook blog page, I was talking about how hard it is to decide on how to decorate a nursery. I’m not the most imaginative person when it comes to decoration but of course we wanted it to look lovely for our new arrival.

Many of you suggested lots of lovely ideas and we loved the idea of using animals in there. Millie had a Winnie The Pooh decorated nursery and Leo had stars – so we wanted a different theme and we had a blank canvas as at the end of last year we moved into a new home and luckily the room which was to become the baby’s new nursery was bright white when we moved in.

During these conversations on Facebook, a fabulous company called Stickerscape got in touch with me and suggested that we take a look at their website and see if anything caught our eye. We hadn’t even thought of using stickers instead of wallpaper but we were open to the idea.

On taking a look, we found some fabulous ideas and some amazing stickers. I had no idea how many we needed for the size of the room we have, so I sent a drawing with sizes of the room on to the lovely Fi and told her which stickers we liked and she worked out what we would need to make it look beautiful!

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A few days later … a well packaged delivery arrived and when we opened it,of course it had blue wrapping.

It was best if we painted the room and then tried to wait 2 weeks to attach the stickers to the wall, so Dan got painting (after I’d picked the colour).

We actually ended up waiting a little while longer than 2 weeks because Dan got Tonsillitis, twice in a row ( I have never known that to happen to anyone!) and we also had a new carpet installed and it turned out that there was a fault with it and we had to wait to get it replaced again. 🙈

Anyway, fast forward around 4 weeks from Dan originally painting and we could start getting the stickers on!

We read the instructions and we’d also been sent a YouTube link that showed how to apply them – This came in very handy as I myself don’t do very well reading instructions, I follow visual instructions much better. Check out the video here The stickers arrived in printed sheets and they only need a rough cut around the transfer, not a delicate time consuming cut which was good for us as neither of us have the patience for that. So we laid them out on the floor to see exactly what we had been sent and how big each sticker was.

Once we had taken a look, I started to cut all the stickers out into individual pieces as then you can put them exactly where you want on the walls. Whilst I did this, Dan and Leo prepared the walls and literally all this entailed was wiping the walls with a clean duster to get rid of anything that might be on the walls that could’ve shown through the stickers.

Next up Dan had to smooth over the back of the plastic with a card from his wallet to ensure that the sticker would come off correctly – this was a few seconds for each sticker at the most.

Next up, actually applying the stickers to the wall (this was definitely a Dan job as I have no patience, but to be honest as I was watching him put them on the wall, I realised that it was actually really simple). Leo of course wanted to be involved, so we gave him the job of collecting the excess cuttings from the stickers – despite the look on his face here, he was actually enjoying it!

The application of these stickers actually took a lot less time than we had originally thought. We thought it might be quite time consuming due to the detail of the stickers, but actually it wasn’t and only took a few hours from start to finish and the stickers look amazing! (You can see how big the tree sticker is by looking at the plug socket on the bottom of the wall)< <

They even got the approval of my granny last week when she visited and when I told her that I was writing a blog about them she said and I quote “Make sure that you tell them that your Granny said that I thought they looked like they were painted on, they are that good”. I think Granny approval says it all 😀.

There are lots of stickers to choose from including some fabulous In the Night Garden and Peppa Pig ones for little fans of those programmes.

Stickerscape also sent Leo a gift too, alongside wall stickers they do labels for children’s clothing/bags/shoes etc and they personalised some monster ones for him – which of course Leo loves!

Here are some in his wellies!

If you like the sound of using these stickers and other products that they sell, October is THE PERFECT time to purchase because they are donating £1 from every order to our Millie’s Trust Charity and to The Miscarriage Association as October is Baby/Infant Loss awareness month x

In conjunction with this, I’ve also written a blog for Stickerscape for a project they are supporting this month for baby loss awareness. Look out for that coming soon, as soon as it’s published, I’ll let you know!

Click here to view all their products and rangesFull disclosure: I was sent the Stickers for the nursery as a gift from Stickerscape but was not asked to review or blog, I wrote this blog to show you all what we’ve been doing and wanted to mention the company and how fab their products are 😀.

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Poem for Leo 0316

Dear Leo,

This morning I’ve been sneezed on and generally covered in green snot,

But it doesn’t really matter as I love you such a lot.

You also threw your Weetabix across at me and smiled,

Now how can I resist that cheeky grin from my boy child,

You also gave me cuddles whilst sneakily pulling on my hair,

I think you really planned that, you cheeky little mare.

Then you shot a smile, a real big toothy grin,

My smile it came so quickly, I could barely keep it in.

You snuggled in my shoulder with your lovely soft brown hair,

You like to lay here soundly,it’s a comfort being there.

Whilst you lay there sleeping soundly I glanced around the room,

Rolled my eyes, had a laugh, toys everywhere like an explosion that’s gone boom.

But this mess I really love, along with little clothes out everywhere,

I missed this all so much, when your sister was no longer there.

So I’ll forget about the washing, the ironing and the sweeping,

Because today is just for us to play, of course when you’re not sleeping 😍

(Randomly just found this poem from

last year that I’d written on my phone, it made me smile, so I thought I’d share xxx)

Come along to our new venue opening day! See details here! Come and meet some of our team and take a look at our new training premises. Click here to see details of where and when.

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Read my previous blog, Oh The Guilt!

Four years and counting 

As our darling daughter’s 4th anniversary draws to a close, it still feels like only yesterday when we last held her in our arms for the very last time.

TEXT MILL04 £4 to 70070 to help us reach our £4,000 target in Millie’s memory today. 

You cannot imagine the immeasurable pain that you feel when you lose a child, unless you have sadly been through this yourself and for those that haven’t, we would never even want you to try and imagine.

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The hardest part of Millie’s anniversary?
Time.

Every time we look at the clock we are right back in that day and we know exactly what we were doing and who we were with. As I write this now, I know that we were about to leave the hospital after being there for over 7 hours, knowing that instead of coming home with us, our daughter was about to be taken to the mortuary, which is where the next place we saw her would be. 

TEXT MILL04 £4 to 70070 to help us reach our £4,000 target in Millie’s memory today. 

At 12.30pm today, I was thinking about how I was being taken to hospital thinking that I was going to see my daughter sat up smiling at me when I walked in, how wrong was I? 

At the same time today, we were arriving at our daughter’s sleeping place with lots of lovely balloons that our lovely friend Jay had once again put together for us, some to stay at Millie’s sleeping place, the others to send to the clouds at the time that she officially passed away, so that Millie could play with them – Leo enjoyed releasing the balloons today and watching them float away.

Time. It doesn’t heal. It’s a lie. People say this to you because they aren’t sure what else to say. It doesn’t get easier and it doesn’t heal – nothing can heal this type of pain, nothing can ever heal the loss of a child. You learn to live with it. You learn to live with your new way of life. 

Our heart goes out to every parent who has ever lost a child, at whatever age.

TEXT MILL04 £4 to 70070 to help us reach our £4,000 target in Millie’s memory today. 

It’s very important to us that Leo, Millie’s little brother, grows up knowing everything about her and also that we still always smile so he does too. 


This was him today playing at the park just twenty minutes before we left to visit Millie and get through the saddest time of the day for us. He smiles, we smile; we smile, he smiles. It’s the way that it should be – even on our saddest days. 

To all the parents sadly starting out on this journey, or travelling through this journey a little way behind us; it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to smile, it’s ok to scream. 

In fact. It’s okay to do exactly what you want or need to, to help you along this tragic journey.

Kiss your child good morning, kiss your child goodnight,

We could never have truly guessed what was to come with such a fright.

I never would have thought my heart could break with such a pain,

I never could see through the storms and clouds and the never ending rain.

Four years since you were taken, cruelly snatched in just a minute,

We hugged and kissed and smiled and laughed, we never could have foreseen it.

You were stolen with no warning and taken from us so fast,

I never thought I would survive, I truly thought I wouldn’t last. 

Although we grieve through everyday and miss you with our heart,

We always know, that one day we’ll no longer be apart.

Love mummy, daddy and Leo on your 4th anniversary xxxxx

TEXT MILL04 £4 to 70070

To donate on Millie’s 4th anniversary.

To read my previous blog, click here

Letter from us 

This week I wrote an open letter to be featured in media articles about the development of Millie’s Mark. October is so, so hard for us but our daughter’s legacy is happening right now and we could not be prouder.

Please keep reading to see what I wrote. 

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We have very exciting times coming up next week  as we are FINALLY able to reveal which 10 nurseries have been awarded the first 10 Millie’s Mark award in England! We are so very excited about this and cannot wait to show you who they are! 

Here is the short letter. Please like and share and tag any of your parent friends in the Facebook post and let them know about #milliesmark. 

Apply for Millie’s Mark by clicking here.

“All parents want to ensure that their children will be looked after appropriately if an unfortunate accident was to happen. Knowing that all staff working with children in the nursery are trained gives parents that little bit of extra comfort when they have to walk away from the nursery on that emotional first day.


We are extremely pleased that the first 10 nurseries from the pilot scheme have now been awarded Millie’s Mark. This is a fantastic achievement for every single person that signed the original petition.

Above and beyond

Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @milliesleosmum – to see who are to be revealed next week.

Working with NDNA, which is delivering the mark, has been a great experience and a positive learning curve for everyone on the team. Together with the DfE, we’ve been able to shape the assessment process that all the settings that sign up have to go through.

NDNA completely understands why Millie’s Mark is such an important thing – not only for us as Millie’s parents, but for thousands of other parents across England.

We are encouraged that so many nurseries are training above and beyond the current legal requirements to meet the stringent and comprehensive criteria of Millie’s Mark, and that first aiders in nurseries are supported to work as teams rather than as individuals to ensure the correct emergency treatment is given. We look forward to seeing Millie’s Mark appearing in more nurseries throughout England in the coming months.”

So as you can see, what I wrote was short and sweet but what I wrote pretty much sums it up. 

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This Mark is such an important development for the childcare sector and this sets the standard for what parents should be looking for – 100% trained staff, no excuses. There shouldn’t be any excuses because anyone who works with children should want the best for them and should know how to look after them if something was to happen.

Don’t forget to come back next week to find out who the first 10 nurseries are! 

Once we can reveal, we will announce on Facebook, Twitter and this blog! 

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Please note that the Millie’s Mark Logo is trademarked and is only able for use by awarded establishments



For more information, visit http://www.milliestrust.com or follow @Milliestrust
You can also visit http://www.milliesmark.com&nbsp;