Miscarriage sadness 

Tonight we wanted to share some news with you although in a few weeks time we were hoping that it would be good news that we would be sharing.

Often when things happen in life you wonder why, often when things happen more than once you start to think when the bad luck is ever going to end – we’re currently on that line of thinking.

Dan and I have very sadly recently lost another baby. I was due to have my 12 week scan tomorrow and share the wonderful news with our friends and family and of course all you lovely people – especially when we know how pleased so many of you were when we announced we were pregnant with our little man Leo a couple of years ago.

Sadly, this wasn’t to be and a few days ago I had a miscarriage and sadly lost our little one, our third child.

Of course, we are extremely upset and emotional and the last few days have been an awful experience for us – but we’re strong and we’ll get through it.

I’m not in much physical pain anymore but my head is a little bit upside down and confused right now, being cooped up for the past week hasn’t done me any favours but we have managed to get out for a bit today after a hospital check up.

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I am sharing this is because I have been so shocked as to how many people have told me since we found out our baby had stopped growing they have previously miscarried that I knew nothing about from lovely friends to family members.

We know this is a very taboo subject, we have learnt that a lot from Millie and this is why I am talking about it again now from a different perspective. I had so many questions and was given very little information as to what was going to happen and I found this really hard.

Now we have two amazing little stars watching over us and a cheeky little man keeping us smiling & laughing at home.

I will blog properly about our experience with miscarriage when I am ready to as I think if people can talk about it and feel ready to, they should; but for now a massive hug to every single person who has lost a child at any stage.


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To read a previous blog, ANNOYANCE , click here 

Sadly another blogger friend of mine, Rice Cakes and Raisins also suffered a miscarriage back in 2012 and chose to break taboo and talk about it take a look here at her experience x

Impossible writing 

Wouldn’t it be great if we could each write our own life story. 

How happy we all would be.

You know the scene, fluffy bunny rabbits, cupboards full to bursting with food & drink, friends & family living forever and no money worries.

To be honest, I’m not sure I know anyone who has a completely perfect life. Some like to think they do … but it only takes a split second for all that to change 

I think that you can write your own story to an extent, you can make the choices and decisions which ultimately shape your future and the paths that we take. 

But what we cannot predict is life and death. 

One minute someone is there and the next they are gone.

One minute the light is shining, the next moment it’s pitch black.


Grief is a unique situation to each and every one of us and there is little point in comparing how one grieves to another. 

There is little point in comparing one situation to another.


Life is tough, life can be absolutely shit and once again for Dan and I, it is. 

It is absolutely nothing compared to what we have been through with Millie but life is currently throwing us a huge curve ball that is causing us a lot of pain and heartache and when I’m ready, it really is something that I want to blog about to help others but not just yet. 

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We need to keep going. 

We will.

Once again we need to be strong. 

Massive hugs to anyone who is experiencing any type of heartache right now in their lives – huge love to you all.

Be kind to one another because you don’t know what the next person you come across is currently going through. 

But … on another note, we’ve got this little monster keeping us smiling … he wasn’t very impressed with me when I had to wake him up today to go out and refused to move from his cot xxx


To read my last published blog ANNOYANCE CLICK HERE


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I haven’t been annoyed in quite a while with how someone has spoken about Millie, but a couple of days ago I was. I was annoyed, irritated and damn right offended.

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I was having a conversation with a professional person over a phone yesterday (someone who is highly educated and in the field that they are in and should know how to speak to parents who have lost children) … and she asked me a question .. the conversation went like this. 

Anon: How many children do you have?” 

Me: “I have 2, a little girl that passed away at 9 months old and I have a little boy that is 20 months 

Anon: “So, you have 1 child then?”

Me: “No, I just explained, I have 2 but my daughter passed away”

Anon: “Yes, so as I said, you have only one child, I mean one child at home with you?

Me: “That’s not what you asked me, you asked me how many children I have, I have 2”

Anon: … next question …

It honestly took all of my strength not to shout at this small minded woman down to phone. 

Now, she asked me a simple question 

How many children do you have?”

Two. This figure will always include Millie whether people like it or not. 

What she didn’t ask me was this …

How many dependents do you have?”

Now that answer would have been different.

One. As much as I don’t like saying that, it is a totally different question because unfortunately for us, Millie is no loner financially dependent on us, but Leo is.

Different question you see.

Different answers given. 

It already annoys me how there is never an answer box on a form filling excercise that lets you state you have a child that’s passed away …. never mind a human being speaking to me like she didn’t even exist. 



It doesn’t matter how many children a parent as lost, we still count every one of them whether they are physically here or not. 


To read my last blog, click here