Miscarriage sadness 

Tonight we wanted to share some news with you although in a few weeks time we were hoping that it would be good news that we would be sharing.  

Often when things happen in life you wonder why, often when things happen more than once you start to think when the bad luck is ever going to end – we’re currently on that line of thinking. 

Dan and I have very sadly recently lost another baby. I was due to have my 12 week scan tomorrow and share the wonderful news with our friends and family and of course all you lovely people – especially when we know how pleased so many of you were when we announced we were pregnant with our little man Leo a couple of years ago. 

Sadly, this wasn’t to be and a few days ago I had a miscarriage and sadly lost our little one, our third child. 


Of course, we are extremely upset and emotional and the last few days have been an awful experience for us – but we’re strong and we’ll get through it. 

I’m not in much physical pain anymore but my head is a little bit upside down and confused right now, being cooped up for the past week hasn’t done me any favours but we have managed to get out for a bit today after a hospital check up. 

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I am sharing this is because I have been so shocked as to how many people have told me since we found out our baby had stopped growing they have previously miscarried that I knew nothing about from lovely friends to family members. 

We know this is a very taboo subject, we have learnt that a lot from Millie and this is why I am talking about it again now from a different perspective. I had so many questions and was given very little information as to what was going to happen and I found this really hard.

Now we have two amazing little stars watching over us and a cheeky little man keeping us smiling & laughing at home. 

I will blog properly about our experience with miscarriage when I am ready to as I think if people can talk about it and feel ready to, they should; but for now a massive hug to every single person who has lost a child at any stage. 

xxxxx

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74 thoughts on “Miscarriage sadness 

  1. Claire

    Thank you for sharing your heartache. My beautiful sister and another dear family friend have both miscarried within weeks of each other. So desperately heartbreaking. Please do talk when you can. It sure would help my sister and a lot of other ladies left wondering why ❤️ Special thoughts to you both at this time ❤️

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  2. Karen McCormack

    I feel ur pain I had still born my first baby full term little boy my 5 th baby cot death little girl but I av four healthy kids all grown up now with there own baby’s my daughter laurie ad 2 Miscarriages awfull went on got 2 gorgeous girls Shauna Kelsey I think like that sometimes why ? Life cruel at times but least you av Leo and 2 angels lv ❤️

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  3. Chelsey

    I feel your pain and emotion it not very much spoke about a miscarriage a lot of people don’t speak up about it and we need women and men to open up to this so we can all support each other I lost my little Oliver at 38 weeks then I had a miscarriage in July not knowing why or how but I just want you to know you have a lot of people who love and care about you and who are willing to support yous every step of the way xxx

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  4. Michelle

    I found out my baby had stopped growing at my 12 week scan. My heart broke at my scan. Had three more miscarriages since. It hasn’t numbed the pain and each one I have grieved the loss of something I was so looking forward to and wanted.

    But there is hope – I’m pregnant again and all is going well (10 weeks). It doesn’t take away the pain, but it’s given me something new to look forward to.

    Also since then, and I know you will do this because of Millie, I hold my 2 year son I already have all that little bit tighter and to give him that extra kiss each night. I know how special he is and what a gift I have already been given. I am blessed with every minute I have with him.

    Give yourself time to grieve and let family support you in anyway they can. I found talking about it helped a little. My thoughts are with you.

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    1. JMT Post author

      Hi Michelle, I am so sorry to hear this. It’s not fair is it?

      We do hug and hold Leo probably a lot more than he likes us too 😀.

      Give your 2 year an extra hug from us and we wish you the world of luck with your little one coming soon xxxxx

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  5. Mary

    We lost 2 babies who stopped growing inside. One at 11 weeks and one at 13 weeks. We now have 2 beautiful boys but it was a very difficult time which nearly cost us our marriage as we pushed each other away. Luckily we got through it and are now a happy family. Thinking of u x

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  6. Zoe

    Sorry for your loss. I had 2 early miscarriages and it certainly does mess with your head. I found talking about it helped a lot. Thank you for talking about a subject most people don’t share but are unaware of how many others have gone through it ❤️❤️

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  7. Yvonne

    Oh no. I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. You’re in my thoughts at this difficult time.

    Talk as much as you feel about this. I didn’t when I lost mine.

    Lots of love xxx

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  8. Paula hooper

    Be strong. I lost a baby at 12 weeks and it was awful. I now have 4 beautiful healthy boys xx I have to say I do believe everything happens for a reason. I predict you will go on to have another beautiful baby to add to your beautiful family. My heart goes out to you xxx your so strong and amazing xx

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    1. JMT Post author

      Thank you Deborah, it’s ridiculous that it is still taboo, it shouldn’t be. Your are very welcome to share, if it helps one person that’s a good thing and I’m sorry to hear about your loss x

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  9. Charlotte

    This is so sad, I really feel for you. I had a miscarriage with my first baby and after trying for so long, it was devastating. I have since had 3 boys and I am so blessed. I found talking about it helped too. Sending lots of love to you all x x

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  10. Lou

    So so sorry your are having to go through this. Life is so unbelievably cruel! I lost my first baby at 13 weeks nearly 6 years ago now and not a day goes by that I don’t think about my little angel I never got to meet. I know my two girls have a guardian angel watching over them. Thoughts with you and Dan xxx

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  11. Danielle

    Life can be really shitty. You’re such a strong family and you will find a way through this.
    After 3 miscarriages, we plodded on and grew our family. It’s hard, but life is never easy.
    Lots of love xxx

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  12. Lena

    Keep going and believing which I know is so hard at this point. I can not even image losing a child but losing a baby through miscarriage I have experienced a number of time and it is a big deal. The only advice I can say is cry.. talk… miss… and love.
    Thank u to u for being so open about this taboo subject. X x

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  13. Becky

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I had a miscarriage before my daughter and I was so surprised and overwhelmed by how upset I was about it. I didn’t realise you could love someone you’d never met so much but I think it’s because of all the plans you can’t help but start to make the instant you find out you’re pregnant.

    Sending you lots of love and hugs. A sibling for Millie to look after up there whilst you create the rest of your family on earth xxx

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  14. Andrea

    So many people have had to go through this. We’ve all had to rely on strength we didn’t know we had.

    We only knew of your existence for a short while,
    Our love was instant, you made us smile.
    We dreamt of all the possibilities that could be,
    Even though you were only tiny still growing inside of me.
    Happy as we were, something wasn’t quite right,
    Suddenly it seemed the future wasn’t going to be that bright.
    We went to see the doctor, words he didn’t need,
    His face said it all, we knew we’d lost our little seed.
    We would never see your smile, so few would know your name
    But we knew life would never be the same.
    As I lie with tears running down my face,
    I thank God and trust in his Grace.
    We feel that unconditional love,
    Even though you’re in heaven looking on us from above.
    Little words whisper gently in my ear
    I may not be with you but I’m always near.
    I know you’re hurting now but please don’t be sad,
    You’ll always be my wonderful, caring mum and dad.

    Liked by 1 person

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  15. Sheena o sullivan

    I cannot believe it ye have been through so much my heart breaks for ye…little Millie has a little brother or sister in heaven now as well as on earth…my little one that I never got to meet would have been 5 years on July 1st next year…as soon as you have a positive pregnancy test you make plans for your baby xxx

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  16. Lizzie

    I am so sorry to hear of yours and Dan’s loss. We lost a baby in February and it is the hardest thing I have ever been through and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about it. Thank you for speaking up as I have too realised that no one talks about miscarriage. Just because it is so common, it doesn’t hurt any less. The lack of information and support following our loss still frustrated and angers me and more needs to be done.

    Keep talking, give yourself time to grieve and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. The Miscarriage Association have a very supportive group on Facebook where you can chat to other people who have been through the same thing.

    I am sure Millie is looking after him or her up there. Take care of each other x

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  17. Andrea Herron

    So many people have had to go through this. We’ve all had to rely on strength we didn’t know we had.

    We only knew of your existence for a short while,
    Our love was instant, you made us smile.
    We dreamt of all the possibilities that could be,
    Even though you were only tiny still growing inside of me.
    Happy as we were, something wasn’t quite right,
    Suddenly it seemed the future wasn’t going to be that bright.
    We went to see the doctor, words he didn’t need,
    His face said it all, we knew we’d lost our little seed.
    We would never see your smile, so few would know your name
    But we knew life would never be the same.
    As I lie with tears running down my face,
    I thank God and trust in his Grace.
    We feel that unconditional love,
    Even though you’re in heaven looking on us from above.
    Little words whisper gently in my ear
    I may not be with you but I’m always near.
    I know you’re hurting now but please don’t be sad,
    You’ll always be my wonderful, caring mum and dad.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  18. Finny

    So sorry to hear this. I know the feelings you describe as it happened to me at 11 weeks. Baby would have been 11 now. I’m lucky in that I have a 13 year old son and then a 10nyear old rainbow daughter. Hugs to you. Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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  19. Jo

    Sorry for this sad time but yeh it is amazing how many people you speak to that have gone through miscarriage without a lot of support. I’ve recently had my 4th miscarriage and we are desperate to have our 2nd child, we have the most wonderful, special 4yr old daughter. Take it easy, let yourselves take it all.in. look.after each other xxxx

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  20. Katy

    Jo & Dan, I’m so sorry to read your news tonight. Like you said there are so many people who we know have been through a miscarriage/scoot. I found that out personally when we lost our 6 babies through miscarriage. People also feel that it helps to say “oh well you can try again”! The times I felt like slapping someone when they said it (and I’m not a violent person) wanting them to understand how we felt about our lost babies.
    Saying Goodbye are a fantastic organisation, they can be found on Facebook. They hold services around the country for people to go and remember their lost babies.
    Wishing you both peace and healing physically & emotionally xxx

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  21. Hemster

    I am so sorry to hear the news of your loss. You never forget that baby. I too would have had a 9 year
    Old at home right now if things had gone well. I have an angel now too. Its bittersweet for me because i now have my 8 year old who is my rainbow baby, born exactly around the time my angel was due, a year later. My heart still yearns for that baby too tho. 💔
    Thinking of you all xx

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  22. skinnyandsingle

    Normally I wouldn’t say anything as I’m not a regular reader or follower of your blog. I feel it’s important to tell you that my mom had at least five miscarriages before she was lucky and had my sister and I.

    I guess that just means there is hope. For mom, it was more than 15 years of terrible sadness and loss but it turned around for her. She never gave up and I’m only here because of her determination.

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  23. Wendy

    So sorry for your huge loss! I totally understand the emotions and heartache you are experiencing. I too lost our baby at 21 weeks. She would have been 21 years old this month! Sending hugs to your family 💗

    Liked by 1 person

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  24. Alison

    I am so sorry for your loss, I have been through the hell of recurrent miscarriage myself and remember the pain only too well. You may have already heard of Dr Beer and his book “is your body baby friendly” but if not, when you are stronger I recommend reading it. After having reproductive immunology treatment (privately, most NHS Drs seem to think it is witchcraft!) we finally had our baby son. Often recurrent miscarriage is not “just one of those things” and with the right treatment it can be prevented.

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  25. Sarah

    Sending hugs and strength to you all. I have suffered miscarriages too and have come to terms with my losses so I can talk about them. People find it hard to listen to tho. The subject is still taboo and I find that really sad x

    Liked by 1 person

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  26. Bridget

    I am so sorry to hear this news. Another little angel, give your baby a name, he / she is as much a part of your family as Millie and Leo. I lost my son Liam due to an ectopic pregnancy many years ago. For many years I often felt a strange feeling on my face just as I was falling asleep, I described it as a spider walking across my face, but no one else I asked seemed to experience this. I was visiting a friend who had a special spiritual gift and no knowledge of my loss. She asked me if I ever feel like a spider is walking across my face and if I had a scar from the loss of a child. She then went on to explain it was my son who wanted to be part of the family. I called him Liam and talk to him often. I have never felt the spider since. I so admire both of you, and life is so unfair. You and your family are always remembered in my prayers. xxx

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  29. luv86elle

    I’m sorry to hear…I just had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks a few weeks ago. Unfortunately I know all too well what you’re feeling…I was so excited as I just got married in September and got pregnant right away. It would have been our first child.
    Sigh…
    Everything happens for a reason…praying for our rainbow babies.

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