It’s here again

I’ve had a cracking headache for three days now, it just won’t go away. I know why I’ve got it. It’s Millie’s birthday tomorrow. She should be 6… Sometimes I think that the day before

I’ve had a cracking headache for three days now, it just won’t go away.

I know why I’ve got it. It’s Millie’s birthday tomorrow. She should be 6…

Sometimes I think that the day before is almost harder than the actual day itself.

It absolutely breaks my heart to be running around buying things for her birthday, things that we don’t want to buy her but do.

Flowers, so many flowers. I don’t know what else to get. At least we can make her sleeping place extra pretty for her.

Stressing out if people have remembered our baby girl’s birthday or whether she’s become a fading memory to people and nobody will visit her except us tomorrow.

I stood in Clinton’s today for the 6th year running, crying trying to pick her birthday card.

We choose teddies that are wrapped in cellophane to keep the rain out.

I picked up balloons that she’s never going to get to run around playing with in front of us like Leo does, laughing and smiling.

My heart is broken this evening.

I’m broken.

Give your babies an extra hug this evening.

xxx

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6 thoughts on “It’s here again

  1. my heart aches for you and Dan ..My daughter and son-in-law are in the same situation ,my grandson passed away, suddenly, in 2003 aged seven . As you mentioned the run up is worse than the actual day , but of course that is so horribly painful too ..My only words of comfort are that despite your feelings now and for a good few years, it does become easier to manage your loss . We never stop talking about Ryan , mostly in past tense , recalling him doing this or that , actually laughing at his antics !! Each milestone is hard , I imagine he would be at Uni now ..my thoughts are with you

  2. Her memory will never fade,
    Her bright smile and legacy will live on,
    The love for her will continue to grow.
    Sending love to her for her 6th birthday and strength & love to you and your family xXx

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