Same Person, Different me 

Same feet, same eyes, same nails, same skin – same everything but I’m a different me ….

Most people will believe they’re going to be the same person with the same persona, same laugh, same outlook on life… Then something life changing happens to you and you’re not the same you, you’re a different you. That’s not a bad thing, sometimes it may actually be a good thing. 

Getting to this “different you” will have seen you walk along a path that’s unknown to you, you will have discovered things about yourself that you never thought possible, had thoughts  that you never believed you had inside you, said things you never thought you could .. But that’s ok, this is you, the new you. The old you is there, the same person, just a different you.

It could’ve been a divorce, a life changing injury, the loss of a job or the bereavement of a loved one, whatever it is , you will never be the exact same person you were before, but that’s ok, this is you, the new you. Going through a life changing event doesn’t mean it is going to be bad for you, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be a good enough person anymore, events like the ones I am talking about change you as a person through growth, through maturity, through pain.

Experiencing something so painful in your life will ultimately change you, whether that be for better or for worse. I know this, more than most.  So what right have I got to talk about this? My right, the making of my “same person, different you” – I lost my daughter, my precious, gorgeous little darling daughter. 

At 27 years old, I had to deal with tragically losing my daughter in an accident when we sent her to nursery when she was just 9 months old. We got the phonecall that every parent dreads … Your child is with the paramedics… We never saw her alive again.

So that’s me, that’s my right to be a same person, different me and you know what, I’m learning to embrace it, I’m learning to at least like, not love, but like the new me …

     

24 thoughts on “Same Person, Different me 

    1. JMT Post author

      Keep fighting, you’ll get there. Neither are nice to cope but with a lot of help, I cope so much better nowadays x

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  1. Hannah

    I’m a same person…different person too and your blog hit home that it’s ok to be a different me….I need to embrace her and not chase the old her!!!

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    1. JMT Post author

      Hi Hannah,
      If you embrace her, you will be so much happier. Life is too short to try and be something you’re not or once was. Love yourself for you and I promise you will smile more x

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  2. maureen

    i want to write something special and wonderful, but cant find the right words, from a mother/grandmother- who cant imagine the pain you have gone through and at times still go through each day/night, my thoughts have been with you many times, xxxx

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  3. rationbookmum

    This is so true. After my sons cancer diagnosis ( aged 4) I was the same person but a different me. I can never be that other person and it has taken over 10 years to realise, accept and understand this. Much love x

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    1. JMT Post author

      Sorry to hear about your son’s diagnosis , I am pretty certain that your experience has made you a stronger person, much love x

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  4. Lou

    You really inspire me after the loss of my son and my fight with depression due to the loss, keep it up awesome woman awesome work. Millie will be proud xx

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  5. Debbie

    I’ve been wanting to message you for so long I suffered from depression and anxiety 4 years ago for a year and a half due to personal circumstances. I went back to work, things got better but seem to having a bad couple of weeks again 😕but reading your words I know I can get through it again. You are such an inspirational lady 😘😘😘

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    1. JMT Post author

      Hi Debbie,

      Sorry to hear that you currently suffering again, I am glad that my words can help, just remember you have come out of the other side again and you will do again. X

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  6. sharon Morrow

    My heart always goes out to you when I.read your posts sometimes I can’t always read them because they.upset me too much.I too hav suffered the worst thing in life I lost my beautiful son Matthew suddenly at the age of 14 of a brain haemorrhage. No warning no headaches no illness a fit healthy lad who suddenly collapsed and never regain consciousness. He was in the Manchester childrens hospital for 4days we had to make the hardest decision in.our lives to turn.off hes life support machine heartbreaking. It’s 4and half years since he passed he,would be a handsome 19year,old young man.The hardest thing for me is wondering what he wld look like now how tall would he have become would he be slender or stocky etc wld he have a girlfriend breaks my.heart want he wld b like. Like u Iihav suffered alot of ups and down that wants grief does to.you it’s like being on a rollercaster one minute your up next your right down again
    At the moment I am down and suffering alot of anxiety and depression my doc has prescribed sertraline tablets this is my second day of taking them so I.hope they make me. Feel alittle better. look after yourself and remember Millie will always b with u.xx,And Baby Leo is gorgeous. 🙂 xxxx

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    1. JMT Post author

      Hi Sharon,
      Thank you for reading and I am so sorry to hear about your son Matthew. As mothers we shouldn’t have to endure pain like this, it is completely wrong. You are certainly right about the roller coaster, day to day you don’t know you will be going up or down when you wake up.
      I am sorry to hear that you are down at the moment, it is awful isn’t it. I too was on Sertraline at one point but it didn’t agree with me and I had to swap to a different medication, but once they got the medication right, it was what I needed at the time.
      Big hugs and look after yourself too x

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  7. Jennifer burnside

    You are a brave wonderful inspirational lady. Mille has left a legacy – of saving lives every day. She will never be forgotten and I’m sure she will be watching over her gorgeous wee brother for ever.

    I pray for peace and happiness for you all 💞 xx

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  8. Emily Harrison

    Every time I read anything you’ve written I cry, I can feel everything as you truly write from your heart.
    You’re an amazing woman, I’m in awe of you I really am
    Lots of love from my family to yours ❤️

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  9. Kerry

    hi
    I know exactly how you feel …. After the loss of my desrest dad … My heart broke and can’t be fixed , not the same loss as a child , but my dad meant the world to me , he was 70 and lived a happy fulfilled 70 yrs , I’ve suffered massively.. And my two girls have because of my depression etc … I’m not the same person at all .. I do miss my old self , somedays i just don’t care , other days maybe i can smile but then the quilt kicks in , my dad is not here to see the sun shinng , his granddaughters , etc etc etc … Its been 2 yrs 3 mths since my dad passed away … And it still hurts like it was yesterday… But I’m trying to be strong and also to live my life as my dad would have wanted me too … Reading your blog / facebook etc so helps me … Well done you !!!!! Keep going
    Your little boy is a stunner… Millie will be so proud of you …. All the best xxxx

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  10. Kath

    Me too .. Same person, different me !! I have lost both my parents & my baby brother .. I have had to adjust & learn to live without all 3 .. It’s is difficult but I have had to learn skills like you to cope with the heartbreak .. I focus on the positives in my life & thankfully I am doing good .since we had our little son & becoming a parent 7 months ago .. The love of a child is a different unconditional deeper love.

    The loss of a child has to be the ultimate & deepest heartbreak .

    Wishing you much happiness with your gorgeous little boy , you deserve all the love & healing that your heart needs .
    You are truly an inspiration xx

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