Would you torch your most traumatic memories? 

If anyone has picked up Cosmopolitan magazine recently there’s an interesting article in it titled just that. I read it with great interest and it’s probably going to split the reader audience into two groups.

If anyone has picked up Cosmopolitan magazine recently there’s an interesting article in it titled just that. I read it with great interest and it’s probably going to split the reader audience into two groups.

According to Cosmo “scientists predict that within the next five years we could eviscerate our most painful memories” 

I’m pretty much sure that you think I am going to say yes I would. I’m not actually sure myself as I write this.

Yes. Of course I would give anything for what happened to Millie not to have happened to her. 

Yes. I wish I didn’t have to see my daughter in a morgue or a coffin.

Yes. I do wish that I could turn back time and not put her in that place and keep her at home with us.

So. Ideally going off the above statements; yes, I would like to torch my most traumatic memories…but then it gets complicated… Or does it? 

You see. If I torched my most traumatic memories from my life then we wouldn’t have Leo. If I torched them, we wouldn’t see his beautiful smile every day or hear his infectious giggle. But if we torched my memories… Then we would have Millie back and be living a normal life? Wouldn’t we? 

Ah, now, you see; I’m not too sure. 

You see, I’m a big believer in when you are born, whether you like it or not, the day that you will pass from this world to the next is already written in the stars. I think we are given the choices to so many things in life that eventually lead to our death but we ultimately arrive there on the date that was scheduled by us. Not by God, I might add, as I am not a believer. 

Which job should I take? Which man/woman shall I marry? Which house should we buy? What town should we live in? Should I take a promotion or travel the world? Shall I buy a white car or a black one? Shall I get the bus to work or drive? So, so many decisions to make in your life, a life that is made up of so many twists and turns of which ultimately you control your destiny of how you get there but not the time it all ends.



Torching traumatic memories I don’t personally think would necessarily work. For example torching the traumatic memories of what happened to Millie? It doesn’t actually change the fact of that matter that Millie is still gone does it? It doesn’t change the fact that like today on this gorgeous sunny day I have had to visit our daughter at the cemetery and the only presents I can really buy her now are flowers and balloon? How would that work then? The traumatic memories are erased yet there is then a huge big black gaping hole in your memory that would surely confuse me as to how I would have gone from hugging my daughter the last time I saw her to visiting her at a cemetery? Surely that cannot be good for anyone’s mental health? 

Referring back to the article, discussing the disappearance of the journalist’s Guinea pig in 1985 (as luckily for her this seems to be one of her most traumatic memories) actually made me sit aghast thinking maybe the article firstly, should have featured opinions of people who have been through a lot more traumatic events like the loss of a child, or the devastation of 9/11 or the pain of going through a life crippling illness and secondly that to me are actual real traumatic events because if the science was used to “torch” the memory of a lost Guinea Pig, I would be pretty annoyed at whoever performed it! 

Maybe, just maybe, this is one thing that science should stay out of. You cannot forget here that the things that you experience in life has an effect on you as a person and ultimately makes you the person you are – something of which I don’t think that science should interfere in. 

So in reference to myself and going back to the original question? How do you honestly make that decision? Effectively choosing between my children. Except would I be? As I said earlier, erasing the traumatic memories of what happened to Millie wouldn’t make Millie come back and Leo would still be here albeit his mother (me) would be constantly confused about where my daughter is as I would now have a huge big black memory hole as to where she had gone and how …

I am now actually genuinely confusing myself writing this blog! 🙄🤔😟

I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts on this one! 

Update from Leo: 

Mummy took me for a walk the other day because it was sunny and daddy had gone out for a verrrryyyy long run because he’s in training for that long London run, what was it called again? 

Well, we came home and he was in MY BATH. I couldn’t believe it, he was in there with all my bubbles and there I was just stood at the side of the bath with mummy! Well I’m not sure what was going on but I’m certainly not used to seeing daddy in the bath covered in my bubbles. Actually, why doesn’t he smell funny if he doesn’t have baths like me?

He told mummy that he was broken after his 18 mile run. I don’t know how far that it is, but it must be a long way if it broke him, does that mean that he is broken like when I broke my toy the other week? 

Love Leo xxx
If you’d like to sponsor my daddy for the London Marathon in just less than 40 days, please use the link below or text 
DANT01 £3 to 70070


To read my previous blog – CLICK HERE 

If you want to read the full Cosmo article, pick  up the April 2016 edition. 

To see upcoming Millie’s Trust courses – CLICK HERE

  “Click here to buy me in pink or blue”

0 thoughts on “Would you torch your most traumatic memories? 

  1. I think our memories make us who we are! We can’t change the past so why should we remove these painful memories as surely there will be more pain when we realise once more what we are trying to escape from. I don’t see how it could work.

  2. Are memories good or bad help us make the life choices, we shouldn’t change these memories they make us weak at the time but much stronger for going through them, plus these bad memories are like pebbles in a pond they spread out to other people in are lives,Jo if you hadn’t had your bad memories with Millie you wouldn’t have set up Millie’s trust and saved so many lives x

  3. Joanne, have you ever considered writing a book? The way you write is so capturing. You have such a way of expressing yourself that is so relatable. Just a thought!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *