Monthly Archives: March 2016

Family Day! 

We took a trip to Stockley Farm this week on our family day out, obviously waited until all the rain had passed as we didn’t want to be out in the cold and we managed to have a lovely day wrapped up in our coats on a dry day. The farm is fabulous and there’s enough there to spend a good few hours and have some lunch.

Stockley Farm is somewhere that Dan hasn’t been before until this week … I’ve been though… 

You can see here above, a photo from when I took Millie there in 2012. It’s always hard going back to places that we went with Millie, always so bitter sweet. I did feel sad, on the tractor on the way to the farm, when I walked into the building where the photo above was taken and when I saw the park where we sat and ate our lunch on that sunny day in 2012. 

Sadness is different sometimes now though, the sadness is there pulling at my insides but I can just about smile at memories now, memories of Millie are starting to make me smile more nowadays,remembering how beautiful and lovely she was. 

So. Leo. Did he like the farm today? Oh yes he did! Check out this clip out by clicking here to see which animal made Leo giggle by licking his little fingers .. I’m kidding you not, I didn’t except Leo to smile like this 😍.

I’m not sure he was keen on the tractor ride to and from the farm though as he was very wide-eyed and seemed a little shocked at the bumpiness of it.  

Leo liked the cows too – but it seemed like one cow liked daddy’s jeans a little too much and would not stop licking them …

  
At one point we had Leo giggling on a swing on the park there and as we were leaving a lovely lady with a gorgeous little daughter called Grace approached me. 

She very quietly spoke to me and pressed her hand against mine and gave me a donation “I know it’s not much, but it’s for your charity” smiled at me and left. 

This lady might not have thought it wasn’t much but to us it was more than she could have imagined. What she gave to me was actually enough to train a child in basic first aid skills which is absolutely fantastic because this child might one day save a life. But it was much more than that to me. By coming over to me and without saying anything else other than what I’ve quoted above, she made Dan and I know that she knew who our daughter was, she let us know that she was thinking about us, she let us know that she supported us. That means the absolute world to us. Even without a donation, people approaching us and telling us that they follow our work, our petition or my blog makes us feel like our daughter’s legacy is living on and it’s working and it’s exactly what we wanted to happen when we started what we did. 

So as I’ve said before, please do come along and say hi to us if you see us anywhere, we don’t bite – I promise. 

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So our farm trip was over and we managed to get one more photo on the tractor back … Just before Leo wriggled away from me to play with the hay!   

On our way back … We also saw this …  If you look very closely, you can see one of our car stickers in this car …

 It made me smile and laugh, the first reason being that we love seeing our car stickers on our travels, we absolutely  love this support (click here to buy a car sticker) and the second reason being that our sticker was next to the Fat Willy’s Surf Shack car sticker – a sticker that totally reminded me of being in Newquay when I was about 11 years old and begging my mum and dad to buy us t-shirts from the shop; I do actually have a photograph somewhere of me with the t-shirt on that they got me. I’m pretty sure at 11 years old I never expected to see a car sticker I was involved with next to a brand that I loved when I was a child! A massive thank you to the person driving this car that we saw today for making me smile! 
 
To see my previous blog and a clip of Leo’s first (ish) steps – CLICK HERE 

DADDY’S MARATHON 

Daddy is running the London Marathon in just less than 4 weeks, please use the link below or CLICK HERE or text DANT01 £3 to 70070
http://www.justgiving.com/Dan-Thompson15?utm_id=23

  
Click here to buy a car sticker 

First steps … 

Not many words are needed in this blog ….

Leo has taken his first steps today , 😀😀😀 very proud parent moment and obviously extremely emotional for us … read further on to see a short video clip 

Here is a note from Leo

Daddy, I took my first proper steps today because I want to chase you in the London marathon in April 😀. I’m only joking daddy but maybe when I am old enough, I can follow in your footsteps and run the London marathon too, maybe?!?

Love Leo xxx

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You never know, maybe one day Leo will fancy running the London marathon 😀

Contrary to popular belief 😂, I do not always have a camera in my hand, although sometimes it may look like I do (I can’t resist, I was the same with Millie and I am so glad that I was like that. I’m even worse with Leo X) 

Anyway, if you CLICK HERE, you can see Leo taking a few steps, it’s a little blurred and not his actual “first steps” but not long after.

Very luckily for us as well, both Dan and I were in the house when Leo started to walk and I managed to shout Dan straight away. (Lucky we picked this week to have a few days off 😀) 

PLEASE DONATE TO DADDY’S MARATHON 

Daddy is running the London Marathon in just less than 4 weeks, please use the link below or CLICK HERE or text DANT01 £3 to 70070

http://www.justgiving.com/Dan-Thompson15?utm_id=23

To read my previous blog, I LIKE YOGHURTS I DO, CLICK HERE 
  

Wet and windy weather

You’ve got to love  “see your memories” on Facebook haven’t you? Well actually, some times I do and some times I don’t. I bet many of you are in the same boat. 

Anyway, this morning Facebook popped up with this one  …

 That’s 6 whole years ago when my (not then) hubby; in fact not even fiancé, completed his first ever half marathon in Wilmslow. When I met Dan, he loved running, he ran a lot but even then he had never run further than 10k before completing this half marathon. When he finished on this day, I remember talking to him and he told me that one day he wanted to run the London marathon but he thought he was getting too old… Fast forward 6 years and he’s had a lifetime happen and part of that was having his heart completely broken when we lost our precious daughter Millie at just 9 months old. That day 6 years ago when he told me that he had always wanted to run a marathon, I am 100% sure that he wasn’t thinking that he was going to be running it in memory of his own daughter.   

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Running a marathon is an extremely hard, emotional and a lifetime experience that so many people do for other charities that have supported them when they have needed them or when a family member has needed them, which is absolutely amazing. Dan though isn’t running for someone else’s charity or someone else’s child. He’s running for his own charity and in memory of his own daughter, our gorgeous Millie. I know exactly the emotions that Dan will be going through when he is running in a few weeks time and it will get him through all those miles but he will also shed so many tears on this journey. 

On all the occasions that I have watched Dan run in races before we lost Millie (in fact, before we even had Millie)  I had always had a tear in my eye when I saw people running in memory of children, always thinking that it was never fair that all these children had passed away – it never crossed my mind at that point that my daughter would be one of these children in the not so distance future. 

But here we are and in less than 4 weeks time Dan will be taking part in the world famous London Marathon after spending months training for it. As I am writing this now in our lovely warm house with my slippers on keeping my feet warm looking after our lovely boy Leo, my amazing husband is out there doing 20 miles in this horrible wet and windy weather but he won’t stop, he’ll keep going even when it is hurting – because he is doing it for Millie.

So, when he gets home later there will be a big lunch ready for him as he will be starving, a nice warm brew and I’m sure that he will be wanting a lovely hot bath to soak his aching legs in. 💕💕💕

In the meantime if you would like to sponsor him please click here or text DANT01 £3 to 70070

Don’t forget, if you see him out and about give him a beep or a wave. 

UPDATE:

Dan is now back from his 20 mile run …his first words “I’m broken … But I did it and I need a soak” xxx

To read my last blog CLICK HERE

Click here to see the next Stockport Millie’s Trust Course

ILKEY COURSE – CLICK HERE 

Happy Easter 

So getting angry at myself this morning for running at snail pace,now I’ve started to run again because it felt like I’d been running for ever to get to 1.6k when I double checked and actually realised that I was at 1.6 miles!! Woohoo!

We just can’t seem to stop setting ourselves challenges Dan and I. Dan is currently training for the London Marathon which is now less than 1 month away, eek!! I have just signed up to another challenge called 5×50 – I have to do 5km every day for 50 days. I of course, picked the hardest activity on the list and there are other options if you would like to take part! You can take part by ourself, with a partner or a team of people. 

If you do join, when you register – you have the option to become a part of a team and you can pick Millie’s Trust! There is currently only me in it 🙈 because I haven’t told anyone that I’ve made a team up! I’d love to see some faces in there. 

So the challenges you can choose from are in the photo below and you can view the website for more details by clicking here. It’s a great change to get fit and to form a good healthy habit. I’ve will be setting up a sponsorship page up for my challenge with just a small target of £100 – so if you can spare a pound or two over the next 50 days that would be fab, when I get it up and running. 😀

  
And yes … The challenge starts today, Easter Sunday of all days. Great way to burn some chocolate off though – although you can register and start up until midnight this coming Wednesday, come on – you know you want a challenge 😀. Of what I have read, the challenge has always started on the day the clocks go forward which this happens to fall on Easter Sunday.   

Last year Leo was far too small to have any chocolate on Easter and to be honest 6 weeks ago, I would probably have been reluctant to let him any …but look at the photo above, breakfast time this year … How far we have come. 😀 

Once again, we are running our Easter text campaign on behalf of our Millie at Easter. We of course cannot buy our little girlie a big chocolate Easter egg but instead would ❤️ to see your kids with theirs and a donation for a virtual Easter egg for Millie over this Easter holiday. 

TEXT EGGS01 £3 to 70070 to send Millie a virtual Easter egg and then show us your text confirmation along with a pic of your little one celebrating Easter! 

This could be wearing an Easter bonnet, with chocolate around their mouth, sat with their Easter eggs etc!!!

The best ones will be selected to take Georgie’s place in this selfie photo (can you see, she’s got bunny ears on) and will win a prize!!!! 

Enjoy 

Please like and share. Xxx

  

Tarantula Laughs

This week has been mainly about giggles, smiles and laughing 😀.

Leo has suddenly got much more interactive with everything and it’s so fun but also heartbreaking to watch. I watch him picking balls up and rolling them around and I can’t help but smile with a tear in my eye for his big sister Mills. I love watching him grow so much and developing but some days it is just so hard and so sad.

My new favourite thing this week is that I have taught Leo put things into a box/bag and then take them back out again! I know, I know  it’s a really simple thing but it has highly amused me this week. 

Today has been a daddy day as mummy was at work…  

daddy put up one of his birthday presents from last month and filled it with colourful balls, he loves it in there; he even let mummy crawl into it and laughed at me, as though he knew that I shouldn’t have been in there.

On mummy day, we did this CLICK HERE TO SEE, well he absolutely loved it! His giggle is so infectious 😀. When daddy came home and saw what I was doing, his first words on walking into the house were “I hope you’re going to pick them all up later” – my response was that we had done it 20 times in and out already, just because it made Leo giggle so much. I love to hear him giggle.  We had our, what has now become our weekly visit to Messy Monkeys and he of course loved it again. Which I found quite amusing because he had been in an awful mood just half an hour earlier and suddenly when we arrived at messy monkeys, he turned into this good as gold little boy! I’ve heard these classes are getting very well booked up now, which is fab and Leo can’t wait to make new friends at his class.

 
We had a visit to Salford Royal hospital this week, don’t worry we didn’t have any accidents. I do have to say though, what an amazing building they have there (the old one) it’s beautiful. I had to go for a head scan as I’ve been randomly falling over and losing my balance, so they’re just being safe and checking me. I’m sure it’s nothing – I get very bad migraines and have had vertigo for quite few years as a symptom (and yes – it is confirmed vertigo by docs)so they seem to think it’s related to that. I’m not surprised some people struggle having the scans done though, it can be extremely claustrophobic. I on the other hand was giggling because all I could think about was the last time that I was put in an enclosed situation and it’s when I spent the evening with zombies! Remember the fundraiser that I took part in last Autumn? Organised by Events2scare, well they covered me up and put a tarantula on me! I was half expecting someone to throw a tarantula at me during the scan.😂

If you don’t like spiders or zombies, scroll past the next photo extremely fast! 

 

Let’s see what the Easter weekend brings for our little giggle monster xxx

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Once again, we are running our Easter text campaign on behalf of our Millie at Easter. We of course cannot buy our little girlie a big chocolate Easter egg but instead would ❤️ to see your kids with theirs and a donation for a virtual Easter egg for Millie over this Easter holiday. 

TEXT EGGS01 £3 to 70070 to send Millie a virtual Easter egg and then show us your text confirmation along with a pic of your little one celebrating Easter! 

This could be wearing an Easter bonnet, with chocolate around their mouth, sat with their Easter eggs etc!!!

The best ones will be selected to take Georgie’s place in this selfie photo (can you see, she’s got bunny ears on) and will win a prize!!!! 

Enjoy 

Please like and share. Xxx
  

Would you torch your most traumatic memories? 

If anyone has picked up Cosmopolitan magazine recently there’s an interesting article in it titled just that. I read it with great interest and it’s probably going to split the reader audience into two groups.

According to Cosmo “scientists predict that within the next five years we could eviscerate our most painful memories” 

I’m pretty much sure that you think I am going to say yes I would. I’m not actually sure myself as I write this.

Yes. Of course I would give anything for what happened to Millie not to have happened to her. 

Yes. I wish I didn’t have to see my daughter in a morgue or a coffin.

Yes. I do wish that I could turn back time and not put her in that place and keep her at home with us.

So. Ideally going off the above statements; yes, I would like to torch my most traumatic memories…but then it gets complicated… Or does it? 

You see. If I torched my most traumatic memories from my life then we wouldn’t have Leo. If I torched them, we wouldn’t see his beautiful smile every day or hear his infectious giggle. But if we torched my memories… Then we would have Millie back and be living a normal life? Wouldn’t we? 

Ah, now, you see; I’m not too sure. 

You see, I’m a big believer in when you are born, whether you like it or not, the day that you will pass from this world to the next is already written in the stars. I think we are given the choices to so many things in life that eventually lead to our death but we ultimately arrive there on the date that was scheduled by us. Not by God, I might add, as I am not a believer. 

Which job should I take? Which man/woman shall I marry? Which house should we buy? What town should we live in? Should I take a promotion or travel the world? Shall I buy a white car or a black one? Shall I get the bus to work or drive? So, so many decisions to make in your life, a life that is made up of so many twists and turns of which ultimately you control your destiny of how you get there but not the time it all ends.

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Torching traumatic memories I don’t personally think would necessarily work. For example torching the traumatic memories of what happened to Millie? It doesn’t actually change the fact of that matter that Millie is still gone does it? It doesn’t change the fact that like today on this gorgeous sunny day I have had to visit our daughter at the cemetery and the only presents I can really buy her now are flowers and balloon? How would that work then? The traumatic memories are erased yet there is then a huge big black gaping hole in your memory that would surely confuse me as to how I would have gone from hugging my daughter the last time I saw her to visiting her at a cemetery? Surely that cannot be good for anyone’s mental health? 

Referring back to the article, discussing the disappearance of the journalist’s Guinea pig in 1985 (as luckily for her this seems to be one of her most traumatic memories) actually made me sit aghast thinking maybe the article firstly, should have featured opinions of people who have been through a lot more traumatic events like the loss of a child, or the devastation of 9/11 or the pain of going through a life crippling illness and secondly that to me are actual real traumatic events because if the science was used to “torch” the memory of a lost Guinea Pig, I would be pretty annoyed at whoever performed it! 

Maybe, just maybe, this is one thing that science should stay out of. You cannot forget here that the things that you experience in life has an effect on you as a person and ultimately makes you the person you are – something of which I don’t think that science should interfere in. 

So in reference to myself and going back to the original question? How do you honestly make that decision? Effectively choosing between my children. Except would I be? As I said earlier, erasing the traumatic memories of what happened to Millie wouldn’t make Millie come back and Leo would still be here albeit his mother (me) would be constantly confused about where my daughter is as I would now have a huge big black memory hole as to where she had gone and how …

I am now actually genuinely confusing myself writing this blog! 🙄🤔😟

I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts on this one! 

Update from Leo: 

Mummy took me for a walk the other day because it was sunny and daddy had gone out for a verrrryyyy long run because he’s in training for that long London run, what was it called again? 

Well, we came home and he was in MY BATH. I couldn’t believe it, he was in there with all my bubbles and there I was just stood at the side of the bath with mummy! Well I’m not sure what was going on but I’m certainly not used to seeing daddy in the bath covered in my bubbles. Actually, why doesn’t he smell funny if he doesn’t have baths like me?

He told mummy that he was broken after his 18 mile run. I don’t know how far that it is, but it must be a long way if it broke him, does that mean that he is broken like when I broke my toy the other week? 

Love Leo xxx
If you’d like to sponsor my daddy for the London Marathon in just less than 40 days, please use the link below or text 
DANT01 £3 to 70070

http://www.justgiving.com/Dan-Thompson15

To read my previous blog – CLICK HERE 

If you want to read the full Cosmo article, pick  up the April 2016 edition. 

To see upcoming Millie’s Trust courses – CLICK HERE

  “Click here to buy me in pink or blue”

I like yoghurts I do. 

I honestly don’t know where the time goes, it flies by doesn’t it? We are so busy at the moment that half the time, I don’t even know what day it is.

Leo of course fills all of our days with smiles and giggles and just keeps on growing and growing. You will be very pleased to hear that we have broken a barrier over the past ten days or so… Leo is eating proper food at home. 

I’m not sure what it was but something triggered in me a couple of weeks or so ago to get upset about Leo not eating food like other children his age and I really felt like I was really holding him back… Something had to change or I know that I would have just left it and left it (I know, I know … All at our own pace…. But I just feel it was heading a bit too close to STOP rather than keeping moving).

I am very pleased to report that Leo is now eating and thoroughly enjoying Weetabix, Cheerios, dairylea on bread, yoghurts and baby rice cakes; all things his big sister Millie loved. Of course, this is clearly not an extensive list but long enough for us right now. Leo absolutely loves his food, this is what happens when I’ve told him that it’s all gone … 

 

As you can see, not a happy chappy! 

And yes.I’m petrified.That’s never going to change.But I can live with that. 

Getting Leo eating actual food (just at home for now) is a long hard process for us and I know that we have still got a long way to go and as long as Leo is happy through the day and sleeping through the night, we know that he is getting what he needs.

Most of you who read my blog will know that last year Dan and I decided that we were going to give blood (click here to find out why) which is something we can do to help someone else out when they most need it without it costing us a penny. Well, a few weeks ago I received a message from a lady who could do something for me to help my health – if needed. I was asked if I would like to attend a Cardiac Heart screening (available for people aged between 14-35). 

As long as you sit in this age bracket, you can have a screening done through CRY who work all over the UK. You can use the link above to see if there is a session near you. 

The session I attended had been fundraised for by a lovely couple who I met on the day called Simon and Joanna who unfortunately lost their son Joseph to an undiagnosed heart condition in 2012.  You can see their story by clicking here . Simon and Joanna told me that Joseph was a very fit and young healthy young man and it was a complete shock when they lost him. I felt privileged to have attended this session that Joseph’s parents had fundraised for in his memory and privileged to meet these two wonderful parents who have done so much in their son’s memory. 

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I am very happy to be able to let you know  that my heart is very fit and healthy and I actually like the fact that I have had this very short and easy test done and that I now know that.   

 

(Me with Simon and Joanna after my screening)   

I would encourage anyone between the age bracket of 14-35 to take a look at the CRY website and think about attending a session. I was told that after the day had ended 4 people out of just over 100 that had actually attended the same session that I had been to had actually been referred on to specialists following their screenings! So it is worth going if you fit in the age bracket and have a session near you.

Little man wasn’t very well last week, full of a cold, a river running from his nose that could have filled the local swimming pool and eyes that looked so puffy and tired. It’s awful isn’t it when your little one is full of a cold and all they can do is feel sorry for themselves, obviously I don’t like my little man being ill but I did enjoy all the extra cuddles that he wanted. His cold made us miss Messy Monkeys which we (I) were gutted about but he was back on top form by this Wednesday and really enjoyed the St.Patrick’s themed day, he came home rather green and I was still wiping orange paint out of his ears later that evening!

Dan has had a bad week this week. He won’t mind me saying that. He’s gotten emotional over certain things on the tv and we haven’t been able to watch them and he’s just generally very low at the moment and it’s really hard to see the man that you love like that and there’s absolutely nothing that you can do to help him. I’m not sure what it is at the moment but we both aren’t quite right and we are both having low days where things just don’t feel good. We’ve been here before though and we know that we’ll see it through, we always do. We are having a bit of time off work over Easter and it couldn’t come quick enough for us, we need to just stop every now and again and recharge and luckily we can always tell when we need to.  We aren’t going away when we have the time off, it’s just to chill out and be a family at home with no stress. Probably what we both need right now. xxx

Update from Leo: 

Mummy took me for a walk the other day because it was sunny and daddy had gone out for a verrrryyyy long run because he’s in training for that long London run, what was it called again? 

Well, we came home and he was in MY BATH. I couldn’t believe it, he was in there with all my bubbles and there I was just stood at the side of the bath with mummy! Well I’m not sure what was going on but I’m certainly not used to seeing daddy in the bath covered in my bubbles. Actually, why doesn’t he smell funny if he doesn’t have baths like me?

He told mummy that he was broken after his 18 mile run. I don’t know how far that it is, but it must be a long way if it broke him, does that mean that he is broken like when I broke my toy the other week? 

Love Leo xxx

If you’d like to sponsor my daddy for the London Marathon in just less than 40 days, please use the link below or text 

DANT01 £3 to 70070

http://www.justgiving.com/Dan-Thompson15

NEW STOCKPORT FAMILY FIRST AID AWARENESS Course for April – CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS AND TO BOOK 

  

To learn more about Millie’s Trust, book on a course or purchase from our shop CLICK HERE